Page 82 of Sex Ed

‘Wine…?’ I suggest.

‘Is it too early for wine?’ she says.

‘No such thing. It’s happy hour somewhere in the world,’ I say. And Rachel does a very strange thing. She laughs. At a joke I made. She rarely does this – she finds me as funny as toothache most of the time – so it’s nice to be able to make her do that. ‘What were you going to do without the kids tonight then?’ I ask her, looking her up and down.

‘Eat posh crisps and start a box set. Shouldn’t I be asking the questions though? You hit someone? Are the police involved? Is the person alive?’

I give Rachel a series of looks as she leads us to the kitchen and grabs a good bottle of Rioja.

‘If she wasn’t alive then I would be on the run. Have you got an attic I can hide in?’ I ask. It seems Rachel does humour but not sarcasm. ‘And no police, it was just a slap.’

Even though I felt immense pleasure in the moment at giving Caitlin what for, the regret slowly veils my being now. It was not a clever move. I’ve let her win and at the expense now of my job. And despite everything, I cared about all those kids in my classes and my work. This was a stupid time to be suspended, just before their exams. ‘I’m such an idiot,’ I say, taking a seat and resting my face on Rachel’s cool granite kitchen counter.

‘Not your wisest move,’ Beth informs me, a hand to my back.

‘Make sure you take care of my kids, Beth. I’ll write you notes of where my exam classes are at and what needs to be done. I’m sorry – you don’t need that extra work… I can’t believe I messed up like that. I don’t even know how to fix this.’

Beth starts to pat my head, knowing none of this is an easy fix.

‘Did she deserve it?’ Rachel asks, taking a sip of her wine.

Again, a surprise here from the eldest sister who I expected would be a bit more judgemental about my being jobless and wanting to drink before seven in the evening.

‘She’s dating Ed…’

‘The boy with the nice chinos that you brought here…?’

‘Yes.’

‘We like Ed… yes?’

‘Ed is a friend, and we all love Ed. Anyway, it turns out Caitlin, the girl I slapped, is also sleeping with Tommy from P.E. on the side and when I confronted her about it, she said some pretty nasty things about Ed. And it riled me.’

Rachel nods, taking in my account as she pours out a healthy measure of wine into her very shiny wine glasses.

‘Riled you? You’re very eloquent this afternoon,’ Beth says, slipping off her coat and taking a seat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. ‘More like she pounced on that bitch. It was like something out of a girl gang prison show.’

‘That I did,’ I say proudly.

Rachel laughs. Perhaps a more barbed response now given that my pouncing may have cost me my job, my career, my livelihood. ‘Well, that’s our Mia for you… She likes the chaos.’

‘What? I do not!’ I protest, my hands in the air.

‘You do! Mia loves a scrap, a chance to have a difference of opinion,’ she explains to Beth. ‘We always thought it was because you liked the chaos, the conflict, the challenge. She buzzes off it. You weren’t built like me, shall we say?’ she adds.

‘What? Boring and mundane?’ I jest.

‘Such a little cow, too,’ she says, shaking her head.

Beth puts a hand in the air. ‘I am one of five sisters, you don’t have to tell me how little sisters work,’ she says, taking a large swig of wine. ‘I just have many questions. Why have we still not told Ed about Caitlin? I feel we need to tell him… No?’

‘About the fight or Caitlin?’

‘Well, all of it? You went to Ed’s flat that night, you didn’t tell him then and you still haven’t told him now.’

I look down at my wine and swirl it around in my glass. ‘How do I tell him something like that? He likes her so much. It would break his heart.’

Rachel furrows her brow trying to fill in the gaps of what she’s been told. ‘Hold up. So you saw Caitlin with another bloke. You went round to tell Ed but…’

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