Page 64 of Sex Ed

‘Maybe,’ she says, shaking her head from side to side, studying the pool ball configurations. ‘Kind is a word I hear associated with you, to be fair. I’ve been asking round the staffroom about you, Mr Ed…’

I stand there with my cue, not knowing how to really hold it without looking like I’m going to dance around it, bristling slightly at ‘Mr Ed’ but trying to brush it off. ‘All good, I hope?’

‘I feel I need to sample the baking. The ladies in the office keep telling me you’re a master baker.’

‘I’m a master what now?’ I reply, some old Britpop anthem drowning out the last bit of her sentence.

She laughs. ‘Master baker.’

‘Well, that can be arranged. What are you into?’

‘Cake.’

‘Any allergies, dislikes…?’

‘That’s very considerate – I’m not a huge fan of lemon.’

‘Then I will avoid lemon,’ I tell her. ‘What else has been said about me then?’

‘People have also been telling me how nice you are. Not a bad word from anyone, always helping people and super organised and polite.’

‘Who are these people?’ I stop for a moment to wonder with whom she’s been talking. I hope this is not someone telling her I colour co-ordinate my Post-it notes because I’m not sure how sexy that is.

‘I can’t reveal my sources. But it ties in with what you’ve been doing for me and all the help you’ve given me around my new flat, so thank you.’

I smile. I mean, I’ve also helped her because I fancy her, but I can’t say that out loud. I helped June in the office unblock a drain, but I didn’t snog her afterwards. To that end, I’m not sure how to bring the kiss up. Does this mean she’s just grateful for my help and doesn’t want anything more? I want to respect the boundaries here. If she’s not interested then I can back away, as heart-wrenching as that may be.

‘It’s my pleasure. It’s been good to get to know you, too,’ I add, not wanting to delve too deeply into what this all means.

‘Likewise. I was unsure about this move to a new school, but I can see the silver lining now…’

She called me a silver lining, that’s good. Tell her you like her. Go on, Ed. Tell her you’d love to get to know her more under a more formal guise of dating. But do people do that anymore? If I ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend, then I will sound like I’m seven years old in a school playground. I can almost hear Mia in my ear. Play it cool. Just let it happen. I watch as she pots three more balls. She’s won every game since we started, not that I match her skills in any way, but I’d let her win if I could. Pool, Scrabble, Connect 4… I’d let her win everything.

‘So, are you dating anyone at the moment?’ she asks me. ‘That was something no one in the staffroom seemed to know.’

I laugh. ‘No. I am very single.’ I shouldn’t have said the very. It sounds a bit desperate but, in the back of mind, I realise it’s not one hundred percent true; I have an unorthodox arrangement with Mia. She doesn’t need to know about that.

‘Well, at least I know now,’ she says, strolling around the table.

I have no idea what this means so I take a large swig of beer. Just confirm what this is already.

‘Oh, you’ll never guess what. Remember my heating? It turns out the boiler is completely broken. Timer is shot. I’ve had a few plumbers give me quotes. Cheapest is £800…’

‘Ouch…’

‘Not a cost that anyone needs when they’ve just moved,’ she moans. ‘I guess I’ll just have to get a short-term loan to suck up the costs.’

‘Don’t do that, the interest will be ridiculous,’ I reply. I do some quick maths in my head and a very sensible part of my brain comes up with a solution. It’s a grand gesture, one that would possibly overstep but it could help her. It may also read sincere, dependable – that can only be a good thing. I take a deep breath. ‘I have some savings. I could loan you the money and you can just pay me back when you can,’ I blurt out, waiting for her reaction.

‘You’d do that?’ she asks, slightly surprised.

Was that too big a gesture? Or too much money? ‘Well, I know where you live,’ I say, hoping that doesn’t sound too aggressive. ‘Not that I’d come and bang down your door and demand the money, but I know what it’s like when you move into your own place. All those hidden costs are the killer.’

‘You’d do that for me?’ she asks, her attention taken away from the pool for a small moment.

‘I’d do that for…’ You. Tell her. ‘Anyone who needed my help.’

She comes over and flings her arms around me. ‘You’re amazing.’ And with that, she leans in and kisses me on the lips, a hand to my face. I can’t feel my legs. Maybe this is the start of something great. I wrap my arms around her and let the moment take me. I am also very conscious I have some cue chalk in my hand that I might be squeezing into dust.

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