Page 62 of Sex Ed

‘They’re with Alison. I’m sorry to have to come in like this. I asked at reception, and they said you were on a school trip so I thought I’d wait around.’ There’s none of the usual arrogance in her tone and I don’t know how to take that.

‘It’s fine. It’s a surprise, that’s all…’

‘It’s a big school, bigger than I thought it would be.’

‘Rach… are you ill?’ I ask her tentatively.

‘Oh god, no. It’s just…’

‘Is it the kids? Are they OK?’ I ask again, my mind shifting through all the possibilities. Please don’t let it be the kids.

‘It’s just…’ she says, her eyes welling up.

‘Rach, you’re scaring me.’

‘Gareth is cheating on me,’ she says, her tears starting to roll and her body caving in to have to say those words out loud. I grab her coffee before she spills it and pull her into me.

‘Fuck.’ I’m no animal but there are shades of relief there that no one is dying. Her body shudders as I hug her tight. ‘How did you…?’

‘It’s a school mum. I came home to find them both at it in our bed. OUR BED. Her breasts on my pillow. A pillow that’s been on my face. They’ve fallen in love. He’s told me he wants a divorce,’ she spills out, her face almost turning green like she may throw up. ‘I haven’t told anyone for the shame. I can’t believe this is happening to me.’

‘Not even Ali?’ I ask her. ‘But she has the kids?’

‘They don’t know. I can’t bear to tell Alison. I told her I have stomach flu so they’re staying the night with her.’

I hold her again, feeling her tears soak through my dress, and see how this news has broken her, completely. I’m not sure I’d focus so much on the pillows, but I can’t tell her that now.

‘Why can’t you tell Ali?’ I ask.

‘Our husbands are friends. The shame that I’ve let my marriage crumble like this…’

I hold my hand up in the air. ‘Hold up, you caught him in bed with another woman so how is this your fault?’

‘People cheat for a reason. Maybe it was something I did that drove him away. Maybe I could have done more…’

As soon as the words leave her mouth, it unleashes an unhealthy amount of rage in me. ‘Or maybe he’s an absolute cock?’

‘Mia, he’s a good man, a great father. He’s on the PTA!’

I narrow my eyes at her. ‘And Harold Shipman was a doctor, I don’t quite see your point?’ She laughs under her breath and it’s a relief to see her express that emotion. ‘Rachel, take away all the positive facets of the man and there’s no denying he’s a shit husband for doing this. I will not have you blame yourself for this.’

‘I just don’t know what to do. He’s still living with us. A letter came through the door the other day for him from a solicitor, so I think he’s set the wheels in motion already. I keep thinking he’s going to take the kids. I’m completely lost.’

It’s still a marvel to me that she can be lost yet came and found me, but I keep my thoughts to myself.

‘Then you need to do the same. My work colleague, Beth, had a sister who went through a nasty divorce. I can ask her for advice, see how they handled things – they had kids, too.’

‘Really?’ she asks me.

‘Rachel, have we not met before? I won’t have him steer this. They’re your kids, my niece and nephew. If he’s done this to my sister, then he will feel the full flames of the comeback. I’ve already plotted out half of it. I’m prepared to do unspeakable things.’

A look of terror overcomes her, which is strange as she should know I’m the vengeful sort.

‘That sounds worse than what I mean. I was just going to poo in an envelope and send it to his work.’

This time she laughs through her tears and the sound is like music to me. I hold her again to let her know, despite any flaws in our relationship, that I am here. Always.

‘So, why me? Why not a mate?’ I ask her as she rests her head on my shoulder. For a moment, I think it’s because I’m a screw up to her. My life is not perfect and it is chaotic so I can at least relate because I’m not on any sort of pedestal to judge.

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