Page 47 of Sex Ed

‘Yeah, and sometimes shoes don’t fit or you outgrow them or…’

‘They rub in all the wrong places.’

I nod, slowly.

‘So basically, I should dump him like the sad pair of fake Jordans he bought off some shit Instagram site that he really is,’ she says, snapping her fingers.

I’m not quite sure how we’ve made that analogy fit but yes, if you have video evidence of cheating then Lola, you kick him to the kerb, or whatever the young folk say these days.

‘You could focus on your schoolwork instead, think of the future. Exams next month…’

‘And prom. I’ll have to ask Deano now. I can’t go alone. Thank you, Miss. You know, you’re actually quite smart,’ she says, getting up from her beanbag, revelling in this epiphany.

‘It has been said. Sure you don’t want to fill out a leaf? Remember if you’re sexually active, use protection, too. Make good choices!’

She does a thumbs up and leaves the room.Your first time will always mean something. That came out of my mouth, didn’t it? I should have let Ed have his LED tealights. I suddenly feel something quite unnerving, a sense of responsibility. I don’t want to be like Ryan Longstaff. I don’t want to hurt Ed or ruin this for him. Christ, if anyone has to make the good choices, it’s me.

‘Bonjour,’ a voice says, as a head pops around the door. Speak of the devil.

‘Ed.’ Ed wears green today which has always been his colour as it brings out the accents of his eyes, eyes I’ve seen up close now so I know that for sure. Is it strange that this is my favourite shirt of his? Is that allowed? He does have clothes I don’t like. He has that striped one that looks a bit like a pyjama top and the half-zip knitwear makes him look like a pro-golfer.

‘Did you do something wrong? Is that why you’re here? Did Alicia send you to The Hub?’ he jokes.

‘You’re funny. Henry is also here. We’re bonding.’ Henry waves from across the room where he’s playing a board game with some Year 8s. I really hope they’re not conning him out of any money.

Ed leans against the door and I’m not sure if it’s the light or the shirt but there is something different about him. It’s become apparent in the last few days, I think he might be walking differently. It’s now Friday, four days since my last ‘tutorial’ with him and he’s not avoiding me at school anymore. Any initial anxiety seems to have dissipated since, well, he came face to face with my vagina. Maybe he’s overcome his fears. It was like my version of flooding therapy. I think I’m just grateful I’ve not ruined anything here.

‘So, are we still going to hang out this evening?’ he asks. ‘I have a meeting but definitely afterwards. We can go to mine?’

I smirk for a moment. I know he’s trying to orchestrate this so he doesn’t have to have sex lessons at mine. I know he has questions over the quality and cleanliness of my bed linen and towels.

‘Actually, I’m taking us on a field trip tonight.’

He bites his lip. I guess in the context of what I’m educating him about, this could mean many things. Am I taking him to a sex club? A car park to go dogging? A sex shop?

He pauses, no longer leaning but upright with panic. ‘Will I need anything for this field trip? Is it cashless? Will I need to get money?’ he asks, a list of questions building in his head.

‘Just you. See you in about an hour,’ I tell him. ‘You might need extra socks though.’

‘Really?’ he says.

‘No, Ed.’

ED

Yes, Mia kicked me in the face after I made her orgasm but, I am happy to report, my eyes are still functioning. I’m not sure if it kickstarted a whole new light in which I see her these days. I think it might be gratitude. Not that I didn’t feel that before, she offered me friendship, she was always kind to me, but now, it feels like I’m not just tucked under her wing, she’s showing me all the ways in which I can fly. She would rightly give me a C for that analogy, but it wouldn’t change the fact that I’m grateful to her. It feels like she’s a crucial figure in my sexual development. And even though when we first had sex, shock and worry prevailed, I feel strangely comfortable with her now we’ve drawn up a firm agreement about our unique arrangement.

However, the words ‘field trip’ fill me with dread, because I know Mia, and she likes spontaneity, noise, and pushing people out of their comfort zones. Is she taking me to have sex in an actual field? That would be illegal and it’s still spring so the nights do get cooler. I hope there’s a blanket involved.

As she pulls up in front of the school in her tatty Fiat Panda, she waves at me and I jump into the passenger side, watching as she moves a few crisp packets and her handbag into the footwell.

‘Jump in, it’s not far…’

‘That’s good,’ I say, doing up my seatbelt, ponderous as to the noise coming out of her car radio. ‘You are scaring me though. What are we doing? Is it outdoors? Are we going clubbing? You know I’m not really into that.’

Mia laughs, half singing along to the noise on the radio. ‘You are hilarious. You’re in old man chinos, we’re definitely not going clubbing.’ She places her hand in a packet of chocolate covered raisins and I watch as she scoops a handful of them up, some of them missing her mouth, rolling down to the seat and beyond. Is it bad that all I want to do now is run round this vehicle with my Dyson? She offers me a dig in her raisin stash and I politely decline.

‘I’m good. Then where are we going? You know I also like some level of preparedness. You say I get anxious and it’s usually because you’re so leftfield.’ I reach down for my phone and scroll through my apps. ‘It says here that there’s a seventy percent chance of rain in an hour. I don’t have a coat. Are we outdoors?’

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