Page 35 of Sex Ed

‘No.’

‘OK.’

I crawl up to her at this point so I’m lying next to her, my eyes running up and down every inch of her naked body, not knowing where they should land. ‘I feel like I should say something more significant at this point? This feels like a nice moment. Thank you.’

‘It’s alright. Ed. You’re with me, you’ll be fine.’

She turns to kiss me and I pull my body over hers as she feels down, her hand around my cock and guides it inside her. It’s not an instant thing like you see in the films. It’s a bit of wayward prodding and adjusting my hips and my breath getting deeper as I worry that maybe my penis isn’t working or made for the job.

Oh.

Sex.

I’m having sex.

‘Oh god, oh Jesus, oh God…’

I push into her, watching her head tilt back, her neck exposed. I inhale, the longest inhalation I’ve ever made. Oh god. I then ejaculate. Quite hard. Of course I do.

EIGHT

MIA

I’m not sure what I thought having sex with Ed was going to be like, I was curious, fascinated at the prospect, truth be told. I did have visions of it being fun. There was no way I wanted him to feel awkward, so the plan was to laugh through most of it, enjoy the moment, see my friend in a whole new light. I knew it was unlikely that it was going to end in orgasm.

Yes, it didn’t last long. At all. But if I think back to my first, Toby – that was pretty similar. Knowing Ed, I should have guessed it would have been clinical. He looked at my vulva without touching it using the same concentration I reserve for Wordle, and he also was far too polite. Just grab that titty and make it your own, my friend. And, for a man of science, he did say God and Jesus quite a fair bit. I’m glad sex with me is a religious experience.

I also wanted him to enjoy it, to have a moment of happiness. Did he? I’m not quite sure. After he came, he seemed horrified it had happened that quickly, so jumped off and went to ‘make tea’ which actually is something men should do more. When he came back, my knickers and T-shirt were back on. He also brought me crumble with custard, which I’d argue sometimes is better than an orgasm. He didn’t talk much, I think he was in some state of shock so he just said thank you quite a fair bit. He showered. I napped and woke up to find Nigel staring straight at me. That cat knows what we did. I’ve scarred that cat for life.

‘So, we were thinking as part of your review, we are going to sit in some lessons, ask the students and your peers for feedback. It’s not a reflection on your work so far, but what we’re doing with a number of staff members to raise standards across the board.’

I’ve taken in about half of what my headteacher, Alicia, has been saying, given I’ve been thinking about sex. With Ed. And the fact it’s Tuesday and it’s 2-4-1 at Domino’s so pizza will be part of my future.

‘That sounds fine. I’ve put Beth Callaghan as a referee. I have room for two more. Who else do you think could rate your performance?’

I pause for a moment, smirking. ‘Ed Rogers in Science.’

She gets scribbling. I think of all the teachers I’m friends with who could do the same, except they’d be able to rate me more for my abilities to balance pint glasses on my forehead as opposed to my teaching. ‘I’ll think of the third.’

She scribbles in her notes, watching me with one eye as I bite my nails.

‘You got me worried. I thought someone had complained about me,’ I say, relieved.

‘No. It’s just that time of year. You’re a valued member of the department. Miss Callaghan told me you also do some adult education classes, too?’

'Yes, some creative writing stuff in the community.’

‘Well, we always value staff putting on extra-curricular clubs in that vein. Have you also had any plans to take on extra responsibility? You are very well-liked by the children,’ Alicia mentions.

‘That’s kind of you to say, but we shall see…’

She studies my face for a moment for reasons I’m unsure. Alicia never married or had kids. There was a rumour she bonked Sean from Geography once, but she’s given her life to this school, to these kids, to the point where you can’t even see the person; she’s married to this place, part of the brickwork. I love these kids and what I do, but I need to be able to leave here in the evening and not be Miss Johnson.

‘Or maybe those drop-in counselling sessions happening at the moment, maybe I can put you on a few shifts after school to add to your portfolio. I think you’d be good at that.’

I nod, knowing I really don’t have a choice, do I?

‘And I will let you know how that review goes. Here are some forms I’d like you to fill out in preparation.’ She hands over a file and my heart sinks down to the pit of my stomach.

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