Page 34 of Sex Ed

‘Well, it’s not micro, or like a baseball bat in between your legs.’

For some reason, I feel the need to return the compliment.

‘You have a very neat…’ I can’t say the word, any word, so I gesture vaguely in her direction.

‘Neat? Like cool or tidy?’

‘Both?’

She grins and for a moment it’s so intense I have to look away. ‘Well, do you want to kiss or shall we just lie down?’ I ask her. ‘Over covers, under covers…?’ I mimic the action of pulling a duvet over me.

‘Let’s go over and then go under if we get a bit chilly,’ Mia suggests.

I nod but she moves towards me and suddenly I feel her hand on my arm. I flinch a little to feel her so close to me, properly naked.

‘Ed, please relax. Trust me. I’m not going to hurt you. Just breathe…’

And with that, she holds me tightly. There are many things I feel in this moment. I feel safe. But I’m also conscious that Mia’s nipples are pressed against me, my penis touching her thigh, her head nestled in my chest.

‘I’m going to kiss you now,’ I inform her.

I put a hand to her cheek to steady myself. I don’t want to get this wrong. As soon as my lips meet hers, she kisses me back, her bottom lip pulling against mine. Crap, her hand is on my arse. She leans into me, and we fall onto the bed. She lies over me, her legs straddling my body. I am super, overly conscious that her vagina is directly in some sort of contact with my penis and I feel it harden under her body. I make a sound. It’s supposed to signal pleasure, but it does resemble a dog crying.

‘Are you OK?’ she whispers. ‘Your body feels like wire is running through it.’

‘Hmmm…’ I reply, unsure.

‘Sex is about energy, pleasure, your body just giving into the sensation. Just take a deep breath for me…’

I do as I’m told. She’s still looking at me. I have no idea what to say.

‘Can I touch your breast?’ I ask as it literally is dangling in front of me.

Mia bites her lip. ‘You can, thank you for asking.’

I hold her breast. Then, without thinking, I kiss it and I see her close her eyes, murmuring in pleasure. Was that a good thing? I lick the nipple. I think she likes that. I won’t lie. I quite like it too.

‘I think… I think… Condom?’ I ask.

She nods, smirking and dismounts me, lying beside me while I reach over to the nightstand and tear it open. Condom. I reckon I can put one of these on in fifteen seconds when I’m alone and want to have a posh wank, but it appears there is a difference when there’s a naked woman in your bed, waiting for you. My hand is actually shaking, and it’s not helped by seeing Mia lie there and touch herself whilst she waits for me. The condom slips out of the packet and I drop it on the bed but then as I pick it up and try and pull it over my cock, it slides over me. It’s like wrestling with a jellyfish.

‘You OK there, champ?’ Mia asks, her fingers gliding over herself.

‘Yep. Just…’ I’m just glad my penis, with all my nerves, is still operating. The condom is on. Thank fuck. I sit there on my knees in the middle of my bed, Mia waiting. Crap. This is happening.

‘So, do I need to do anything else here? Would you like me to touch you there or would you like oral or I can kiss you a bit more?’ I ask, at some precipice of disbelief, like I’m about to reach the top of a mountain.

‘Dude, let’s pop your cherry,’ she says, putting a thumbs up.

‘Exactly the words I imagined would be said to me in this moment…’

And then that smile. ‘Ed, you’re thinking about this too much. What are you looking at?’

‘I don’t want to hurt you. Can I just examine the holes? Is that weird?’

She does a gesture prompting me to lie down and have a look, parting her legs gently. I lie looking up at it. It’s a perfectly good vulva, just like in the textbooks and porn, except she has pubes.

‘Do you want me to do the mouse thing, with the finger?’

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