Page 110 of Sex Ed

‘It’s Grogu.’

I pretend to be interested. It’s a lot to take in and I should be good with something that has lots of characters. I teachA Midsummer Night’s Dreamevery year. Ed cheers in bed as the Mandalorian wins some sort of gun fight. I don’t say it out loud, but the Mandalorian is fit even though I haven’t seen his face yet.

‘How do you still get crumbs in your hair when you eat?’ he says, glancing over at me.

‘I just do. It’s a skill.’

He bends down and licks some crumbs off my collarbone, and I giggle. His lips hover there by my neck and he kisses me slowly, his body shifting over to my side of the bed until he’s on top of me. I think thisStar Warsthing might have given him the horn, but I won’t argue with how he gets his kicks.

‘Can I ask you a question?’ he says, the energy between us shifting as his lips move down to my breasts and my stomach. ‘It’s just there is something I think I want to do. Don’t judge me.’

‘Go on…’ I say curiously.

‘If I got a Mandalorian costume, could we…?’

‘…I was just thinking he was fit!’ I say excitedly, sitting up. ‘You could guide me through sex and saythis is the wayin a different voice.’

‘Not in my actual voice?’ he says. ‘I’d have to do voices?’

I laugh to see his distress and both of my hands reach to his face, kissing him to take it all away, trying to reclaim that moment, that energy where we can lie here and have lazy Sunday sex for the rest of the day.

‘Hold up. You don’t want me to dress as Yoda, do you?’ I ask.

He laughs.

ED

No. I don’t want Mia to dress up, but this is why I love having sex with her. It’s not just sex. It’s laughing so hard my laptop falls off the bed, it’s seeing her smile at me and feeling completely at ease. And it’s not the sex I’ve seen in porn all these years. In all that porn, I never saw anyone get cramp, I never heard the friction of two bodies rubbing together making armpit fart noises, I didn’t see anyone fall off the bed or have to reach for a towel because sex is actually really quite a messy endeavour. I never saw the high-fives at the end. And I like being able to lie on top of Mia and not care about anything except pleasure, not having to pretend to be anyone else. I mean, I want to try the Mandalorian thing, but I’d still be me under there.

‘You haven’t answered my Yoda question,’ she says, in between kissing me.

‘His name is Grogu. And have we not met? The body paint would rub on the sheets. I just want you. As you are…’

‘Really?’ she says, as I take one of her nipples in my mouth. I stop and look up at her, her crumb-lined hair all ruffled against my pillow, big eyes smiling down at me. Yeah, just like this. I take a wisp of hair and tuck it behind her ear. ‘I mean, we could give you a headdress, maybe Ahsoka Tano?’

‘The lady with tentacles on her head?’ Mia says, in hysterics.

To hear that sound makes me kiss her again and I feel myself get hard, and like some well-rehearsed routine she guides me inside her, both our faces reacting to the moment, her exhaling softly. I lower my body over hers. It might not be very interesting, but I still think this is my favourite way to have sex, so we can chat and I can look at my favourite person at the same time. She sits up slightly so our bodies are closer, at angles that I know will work for her. I slip my fingers over her to touch her at the same time and she bites her lip to let me know she’s having fun. I like that she still likes having sex with me because I bloody love it. She puts a hand to my hair and pulls it gently.

‘Ed…?’ she says in breathy tones.

‘Mia…?’

‘Keep going but throw something at that bloody cat. I can’t do this when he’s looking at me…’

I thrust but turn my head to see Nigel sat by the wardrobe, judging. ‘Nigel, please can you fuck off?’ I cry.

Naturally, this does not move the cat who still sits there. You absolute perv of a cat.

‘Ed, you swore… You never swear!’ Mia says, looking at me laughing. ‘I’m the swearer in this partnership.’

‘Well, I’m joining your club. Did you like the swearing?’ I say, an eyebrow cocked high.

‘Say something again.’

‘I like fucking you?’

‘Oooh, I felt that,’ she says, smirking at me, grinding her hips into me.

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