Page 104 of Sex Ed

‘I didn’t know,’ I admit. I take a deep cleansing breath and hold my hands to my face.

‘She’s Mia. She cares about you so much,’ she says. ‘I don’t want to stir anything up but maybe think about why she did what she did?’

‘Because she’s prone to flying off the handle?’

‘Or…?’ Beth pauses, trying to draw the answer out of me.

‘I’m not an English teacher, I don’t know how to read between the lines,’ I tell her, confused.

‘Let me spell it out for you. I think she might really care about you, Ed. Maybe. Possibly…’ Beth hints, her face rising to a blush to say it out loud.

But as soon as the words leave her mouth, it is some sort of lightbulb moment. Despite the fact I am a big sweating and dripping mess and my legs could very possibly give way, I feel strangely empty because in this win, this small moment of victory in my life, something clicks into place and I really wish Mia was here, right now, next to me. The both of us, together.

TWENTY-THREE

MIA

‘Does yours have a beard?’ I ask Florence.

‘Yes.’

‘Is it Lucas?’

Florence throws herself onto the bed to feel the bitter taste of defeat. ‘You’re too good at this game. Are you cheating?’

‘Are you accusing me of cheating?’ I say, insulted, a hand to my chest.

‘You’ve won five times in a row,’ she moans. ‘A nice auntie would let me win and buy me sweets.’

‘Allowing you to win teaches you nothing, but we can do the sweet thing, any time.’ I smile. She comes over to hug me and I squeeze her so tight. It’s not been an easy month for these little ones, and I wish I could squeeze all that hurt out for her, but at least these kids know I’m here. They will never beat me atGuess Who?but I will always be there for them.

‘When are you going home, Aunty Mia?’ Florence asks me, staring at my bags in the hallway.

‘Tonight, I’ve got to go home. I left a ton of food in the fridge and it’s starting to grow beards of mould, so my housemates are complaining.’

Florence giggles. ‘Can we come to your house some time?’

‘Maybe.’

‘You also said we could go to Ed’s house and meet his cat? Can we do that?’

‘Again, maybe,’ I say with a hint of sadness. I’ve not spoken to Ed for an age, both of us a little too angry and stubborn to make the first move but with school and exam periods in the way, it’s also not been a priority. I’ll have to apologise to that cat, too, for saying he had a stupid name. Nigel deserved better than to be dragged into our argument.

‘Did Aunty Mia not let you win atGuess Who?again?’ Rachel says from the door.

‘Yeah,’ Florence says, gathering the game boards. ‘So I’m going to go and beat Felix instead,’ she tells me, sticking her tongue out.

I laugh as she leaves us, Rachel coming in with a cup of tea and sitting down next to me.

‘No biscuits?’ I ask her.

‘How do you eat so much and just stay so thin, I hate you for that,’ she tells me.

‘That’ll be a no then,’ I say, taking a sip of tea. Rachel makes excellent tea, but she’s taken it upon herself to limit my sugar intake which is one reason why I’ll be glad to move on.

She sips her tea quietly and looks at me. ‘So… I’m going to say this out loud now before you go and before I don’t get the chance… but you will be missed round here,’ she says, not quite looking me in the eye. I’d reply with my biting wit if her words didn’t strike a chord somewhere, deep in the heart of me.

‘Thank you for putting me up. I appreciate it. I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t buy the milk with the red lid,’ I say diplomatically. ‘And I don’t want to take credit for anything, but I feel you’re in a better place compared to that day you showed up at my school.’

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