Page 21 of Lost Times

Those had been harrowing while I was working toward my degree, but with my family, I’d made it through.

He jerked, eyes widening a hair before leveling on me. “Two-hour feedings?”

I nodded. “Yup, when babies are first born it’s every two hours, then as they get older you space it further apart.”

The surprise faded from his features, then guilt took its place. “And you dealt with that alone.” He muttered, eyes trailing down to his hands that were clenched into fists in his lap.

It was endearing that it bothered him, but there was no point in brooding over the past. “I did, to a point, but there was nothing you or I could have done to change that. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Under his breath, he grumbled. “I could have given you my last name or my number.”

Before he could get far into that, I rolled my eyes. “And I could have done the same, but we didn’t. We can play the blame game, or we can move on.”

He flicked a quick glance to Jasmine, then back to me with a sigh. “I wish I could have been here from the start.”

Genuine longing twinged his tone, and it tugged at my heart. How many times had I stayed up late, staring at my ceiling while wishing I’d had someone to share all the little moments with?

Too many to count.

Reaching for him again, I took his hand and squeezed. “So do I.” Seeing how he was reacting to Jasmine now, it was almost like a completely different person from who he was at work.

He was like the man I’d met in that bar years ago, the one with an easy smile and eyes that lit up when I laughed.

Until now I’d written that man off as a figment of my imagination or long dead, but now…

Now I wasn’t so sure.

Taking my hand back after a minute, I watched as Jasmine perked up, seeming to realize something. “I’m going to have a dance recital soon. Will you be there? Pretty please?”

Her eyes expanded and her lip stuck out. Ludwig froze at the expression, looking to me with open uncertainty.

“When is it?”

Some of my previous happiness drained from the look in his eyes. He’d been busy last night, and something told me that he wasn’t going to be available for this.

There was no better time to start introducing Jasmine to this, I supposed.

Bracing for her disappointment, I answered. “This coming up Monday at noon.”

I could practically see the numbers flying behind his eyes as he thought about his schedule, then he grimaced, shaking his head. “I can’t. I have meetings stacked all throughout the day thanks to the uptick we had yesterday.”

Genuine regret lingered in his tone, and Jasmine’s face fell. “Oh, okay.” She didn’t do it on purpose, but I could all but see how her disappointment hit him like a brick.

He raised a hand, not sure what to do. “I wish I could go, if that helps any. The meetings are long and boring. Watching you would be infinitely more enjoyable.”

Jasmine perked up a little bit, taking the hand he’d raised and nodding. “They sound boring.” Then the proverbial light bulb flashed above her head and she turned to me, eyes sparking with hope. “You always record it, right?”

Already seeing where this was going, I nodded. “Yup. I have all your recitals, plays, and ceremonies on picture or video.”

Ludwig jerked to stare at me, eyes wide with shock. “Allof them?”

I’d never heard him sound so thunderstruck, and I hummed. “Yeah, we can watch some of them later if you’d like?”

His eyes softened again, and he nodded. “I would like that.” Then he asked. “If you could do a live stream on social media, I could probably catch at least a few minutes of it between meetings, then watch the full video with you when I finish with work?”

Jasmine all but vibrated from happiness and seeing that, I agreed. “That sounds fine. Mom is usually there too, so she can do the regular recording while I manage the live.”

No one but him would be watching it, since I never talked with the rest of my family, but even the thought that hewantedto was enough to spread fluttery warmth through me.

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