Page 20 of Lost Times

She still pouted, not happy that he’d revealed that bit of information to me, but she nodded, and I took one of her hands.

“He told me because he was worried about you, and…” I trailed off, bracing for this next part. “Because he wants to be here. As your father.”

It took a few seconds for the meaning to sink in, but when it did her head whipped around to face him, eyes wide now with surprise and the tiniest flicker of hope.

“You do!?”

He didn’t have a chance to do more than nod before she looked back at me with a confused frown. “But I thought you said if I had a Daddy it would be because you were dating someone?” She looked between us, eyes narrowed. “You are boyfriend and girlfriend, right?”

Smart girl.

I couldn’t help but smile just a bit as I ran a hand through her hair. “We’re not, and usually, yes, that would be how it works. But our situation is special.”

Picking my next words very carefully, I continued. “I never told you about your father, but that wasn’t because of you.” I paused, tucking a finger under her chin to make sure she was looking at me. “He didn’t even know you were here with me.”

Her shoulders eased a bit, but the confusion stayed. “You didn’t tell him?” She asked and I sighed, trying to figure out how to word this to avoid the birds and the bees.

“I didn’t know at first. Remember when your friend Maria’s mother was having a baby? And the baby grew in her belly?”

She nodded, and I continued. “I didn’t know I was pregnant with you, and by the time I found out, I couldn’t get in touch with him.” I could all but feel Ludwig’s eyes on me now, drilling in and I sighed, looking up to meet his gaze.

There was a quiet kind of pain there that I understood and I spoke, this time to him. “I tried asking around, but no one knew him, and the hotel he stayed at wouldn’t give me any information. So I gave up and raised you alone.”

He dipped his head the slightest bit, letting me know he understood. Turning back to Jasmine, I finished. “Your father didn’t know you existed, but now he does…and if you’d be okay with it, he wants to be here.”

It took her a few seconds to understand what I meant, but when she did, she spun to face him and pointed. “The lady said we had the same eyes!”

He jerked at the sudden volume, but nodded. “We do. I didn’t even realize until she mentioned it. That’s what I was talking to your mother about when you left. I wanted to be sure I was right.”

Jasmine bit her lip, excited but uncertain as well. “So, you want to stay?”

His throat bobbed on his next swallow, the same nerves I felt rolling just behind his eyes as he nodded. “Yes, although you’ll have to be patient with me. I’m not used to…any of this. Can you do that?”

She nodded, her sunny smile coming back with force now. “Of course! Mom says being patient is important. She’s super patient with me when we have to do math.” She stuck her tongue out. “Math is confusing and I don’t like it, but Mom helps me understand. I can do that for you!”

Ludwig took it in stride, that small smile coming back. “Sounds perfect.” Then he looked at me. “I’ll need your patience as well, and quite a bit of advice. I’m not used to children, but I’ve always been a fast learner.”

Reaching around Jasmine, I hesitated for a second, then patted his shoulder soothingly. “I didn’t know either when I first started. It’s normal. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

Mom had been my saving grace when I’d been pregnant and at a loss for what to expect or do, she’d walked me through every bit of it, and I would never stop being grateful to her for that.

Ludwig blinked, surprised. “It’s normal?” His head tipped sideways a bit, and I laughed, nodding.

“To an extent, yeah. Unless you grew up with siblings, you generally don’t have experience with kids until you have them.”

It’d been one of the biggest shifts of my life, incorporating Jasmine, but I would never regret it. Hooking an arm around her, I squeezed. “Thankfully, I just happened to have the best little girl to learn with me as I went.”

Jasmine squirmed, laughing at my grip. Once she’d wiggled around to face me, she threw her arms around my neck and flung herself into my lap.

“And I have the best Mom!”

My heart melted and when I glanced up at Ludwig, I nearly did a double-take at the soft look to his eyes. Then he caught my gaze and froze, the uncertainty from before coming back.

He cleared his throat. “I doubt I’ll be that good.”

Jasmine pulled away and huffed. “Mom says no one is good at everything to start.”

Pride puffed up my chest and I nodded, nudging him soothingly. “She’s right. I wasn’t great to start either, and at least you don’t have to worry about dirty diapers and two-hour feedings.”

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