Page 18 of Lost Times

He made a noise that was the closest I’d ever heard to approval from him; then his tone turned cold again. “I have to go. Be sure to pick up sooner than thethirdcall next time.”

I didn’t have a chance to respond before he’d hung up, leaving me to stare at my phone with the familiar hollowness that always came from talking to him. Not that talking to my mother was any better…

Briefly I considered calling him back to inform him about Jasmine, but quickly decided against it. For one, Thalia may not be comfortable with that yet, and for two…My father wouldabsolutelyuse that against me if he knew.

It didn’t matter that I had no idea before today or that we’d used protection. He would still hold it against me.

I didn’t need to give him any more ammunition over thinking I couldn’t uphold the company without him here. He already not so subtly hinted at that anytime he visited for his regular checks and inspections. No, if I told him about Jasmine, it would beafterI had a handle on how to be a parent.

Putting the thoughts to the side before I could brood over them, I faced my computer and the new work that's been dropped in my lap. I didn’t have time to brood.

It took the better part of an hour to get all the clients situated with meetings set, but when I pushed my chair back, satisfaction welled.

Father’s expectations were impossible to meet, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be proud of what I managed.

“You may not do it for gratitude, but there’s nothing wrong with showing appreciation when someone does something nice or well.”

Thalia’s words echoed back through me, and I allowed myself a moment to soak them in. I’d never heard that before, from anyone, and it almost seemed too foreign to contemplate. She made it look so easy, appreciating the small things people did.

Maybe later I would ask her how she did it.

Focusing back on the paperwork, I put my phone to the side and got back to work. My father wasn’t going to be happy if he learned there was this much leftover at the end of the day, and the last thing I needed was him barging in to critique every little thing I’d done since the last time he came.

I’d have to deal with that later, but hopefully I could stave it off a bit.

Flashes of his scowl and the disapproving glare that never seemed to leave his face blurred behind my eyelids every time I blinked, further souring my mood.

Didn’t Thalia say that I always walked around with a scowl?

A chill worked up my spine, and an icy fist gripped my stomach at the comparison. Surely I wasn’t as bad as him?

The thoughts dug their heels in and refused to budge, spreading poison outward until I could hardly think through them. A knock on the door yanked me back to the present and I looked up to see Kelly, her fist still resting on the door with palpable hesitance.

Whatever was on my face made that hesitance worse, and I instinctively shifted my expression back into its usual mask.

“How can I help you?” I asked, and she took a step into the office.

“I just wanted to let you know I’m headed home.”

I nodded, eyeing the clock and grimacing at the sheer amount of time it would take me to get the rest done. Before I could calculate the amount and further darken my mood, my previous worries came back, and I asked.

“Do I scowl often?”

She blinked, clearly surprised, but before I could take it back she made a gesture with her hand. “Kind of? It gets worse when you’re stressed.”

Apparently Thalia had been right on that. The pit in my stomach deepened, and I nodded again. “Thank you, you’re free to go.”

She left, sparing a confused glance over her shoulder at me before she did. Once I was alone in the office, I pressed both palms to my eyes and groaned quietly.

Did I at least not constantly glare at people with disapproval like he did?

No matter how hard I tried to think back, I couldn’t pinpoint a time I truly took out my displeasure on an employee, not unless they’d done something catastrophic to earn it.

The sick feeling didn’t abate and I sighed, knowing it wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Maybe tomorrow I could talk to Thalia about it and ask for her opinion. She wasn’t afraid to give me a brutally honest answer and right now, I needed that.

I didn’t want to behim…

Shelving that for tomorrow, I pulled over another stack of paper and focused on it. For now, this was what I needed to deal with. The rest could come later.

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