Page 77 of Feels Like Forever

I blink at them, because he wasn’t always close enough to touch me.

Then I blink my gaze up to his face.

His expression is very soft but very serious, and so is his tone when he says, “I would normally keep this to myself so as not to risk making you uncomfortable, but you have no idea how hurt you look right now, and I can’t stand it. So give me a free pass on this one and let me say it without getting in trouble.”

His fingertips skip up my arm a little ways, then pause…then move up to take careful hold of a piece of my hair.

My stomach twists up with nervous shock.

Part of me demands that I ignore what he said and jerk away from him, scold him, collect Rae so we can leave.

But another part of me doesn’t want to do any of that, because a tingle of calming contentment is making its way up my spine. And I like that feeling better than the other one.

I watch his thumb smooth down my hair unhurriedly, like it’s all he’s thinking about.

But his words are just as intent as the action: “No matter what your mother was like, no matter how your sister turned out, and no matter what has ever happened or been said to you, you are amazing. Honestly, Liv, you’re pretty close to perfect.”

Chill bumps spring up on me even in this eighty-five-degree weather.

Even more softly, he adds, “Sometimes the greatest things come from the darkest places.”

He lays my hair back over my shoulder where he found it.

I feel like I should look him in the eyes as I whisper, “Thank you,” but I don’t manage it.

In my peripheral vision, I see him scooting back to where he was sitting before.

He sighs and says more lightly, “No need to thank me, friend. I’m happy to compliment you anytime you want.”

The word‘friend’rings in my ears. I appreciate that he said it. For a moment there, I….

Even knowing I slipped a little bit, though, the urge to get up and leave hasn’t grown any bigger. In fact, it’s shrinking.

I have to admit this isn’t the first time in these last weeks that I’ve caught myself thinking or feeling something I shouldn’t have. The first time or two were scarier than this—one of them was a pretty hot dream I had about us—but I forced myself not to let them ruin anything. I’ve enjoyed being his friend.

God,I’ve sincerely enjoyed it. And so has Rae. There’s just no denying he’s made our life brighter.

Besides, he was right when he told me attraction isn’t an automatic friendship death sentence. I’m an adult. I don’t have to treat every situation like it’s yes or no, black or white, all or nothing.

As I watch Rae play with the kid she helped off the ground earlier, I think back on the other things Landon said just now. I feel deep appreciation for them, too. They felt powerful to me; they did something to the sick feeling I had over my family.

‘Sometimes the greatest things come from the darkest places.’

He’s right. People like Mom and Kelledon’tonly cause damage. They do cause an awful lot of it, and so much of it is long-lasting, but I got Rae from Kelle. And if my mom had never brought me into this world, Landon wouldn’t have either of us.

I’m happy he does.

There’s no way I think I’m amazing or close to perfect, but ifhesomehow thinks that of me, it must mean I really am different from my mom and sister.

On cue, he breaks our short silence to ask, “So you never got into drugs or anything like they did?”

My sense of calm grows, and I breathe it in as I shake my head. “No drugs whatsoever. I’ve had alcohol before. Never got crazy with it, though…in fact, I think I only drank to prove Icouldcontrol myself better than Mom and Kelle.” I nod toward Rae. “Haven’t had anything since I got her, of course.”

“Mmm.”

“You?”

“I drink lightly but pretty regularly, I guess. Few beers a week or something. It was heavier when I was with Amanda, and I’m glad to be done with that. It got old.”

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