Page 189 of Feels Like Forever

“Hi,” I whisper back.

Her hair is ruffled just a little by the word, and a delicate shiver moves through her.

I like it.

I like it even through my lingering drowsiness and everything else that’s been weighing on me, and I can’t hide it.

She feels it from me, breathes in deeply, a bit unsteadily. Her thumb presses between two of my knuckles, and little shockwaves shoot away from there to go all through me.

I breathe deeply, too, as I spread my hand beneath hers and splay it across her stomach. A second after I wish her shirt wasn’t in my way, she rolls around and faces me, causing the fabric to twist and lift so I’m touching the bare skin of her back.

The intense warmth from when we kissed yesterday is back in her eyes.

I know it’s back in mine, too.

Many moments tick by with us just studying each other in the dim daylight, the rain in the background, my hand on her skin, her fingers curled against my shirt.

Then…

…she smiles at me. Softly.

Slips her gentle fingers up across my unshaven jaw, over my cheek, into my untidy hair.

And I don’t know why, but I’m justundoneby it.

It makes me feel like I can’t breathe and also like this is the first time Ihavereally breathed in six days.

While my lungs try to figure that out, I tug her body right up to mine. Her hands curve around my neck and she meets me halfway for a kiss that is soft and sweet…andlacking.

After a breath, we meet in the middle again, this time with our tongues—she moans breathlessly at the touch just like I do.

She feels like sanctuary to me.

A place I won’t be turned away from whether I’m whole or fragmented, lively or a mere shade of myself.

And there isn’t a doubt in my mind that she feels the same way about me.

Which is why this deep kiss isn’t enough either. We still aren’t close enough to each other. I dwindle it into a chaste one and slide my hand up her spine, dragging her shirt with it.

I whisper, “Liv,” shakily.

Her hands are shaky, too, and I see her cheeks are pink when she leans back slightly to give me a searching look. There’s heat and…something else…in her expression.

“Do you—do you feel like finally…?” she tries to ask. Shakier hands, pinker cheeks, softer voice. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

I understand what that‘something else’is and actually let out a laugh. And then, for a sharp second, I think I might cry.

I absolutely want her right now, but of course she would give me the chance to say no…partly because she’s still trying to take care of me and partly because there were times when her own discomfort was heartlessly disrespected.

I gently take her jaw in my hand and look right into her eyes. “Thank you so much for that, but I do. Badly, Liv.” Then, “What about you? Is there any part of you that doesn’t want this?”

We’ve waited and resisted and been through so much—we care about each other so damn much, and this is our bed now, our home, and it’s just her and me and I am one hundred, one thousand, one million percenthere. But I need her to tell me she’s here, too. I have to hear that she wants to take this step, too.

Her eyes leave mine as she dips her chin to wrap a kiss around the place between my thumb and index finger.

Damn.

When she looks at me again, she shakes her pretty head in answer to my question.

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