Page 33 of All Of My Firsts

The look in her eyes makes it hard to look away. Emotion swirls in her irises and I’m mesmerised. The way she chews her bottom lip makes me want to take it between my own teeth. The way her body shifts from side to side makes me want to pull her into me and calm all her nerves. But it’s more than that. There’s something changing, a warmth building inside me every time I’m near her and it won’t go away. It makes me wonder if my parents were ever in love and if so, did they feel like this? I get this overwhelming feeling, like I have to touch her.

But I don’t. Because we’re… friends.

“I had a great day,” I tell her honestly, suddenly feeling nerves fluttering inside my stomach.Well, this is new.I’m not a nervous guy at all.

“Me too.”

The fresh air around us is now heavy with whatever seems to be rippling between us. The urge to kiss her is overwhelming, but I’m frozen in place, not sure if she would want that. Based on every conversation we’ve had about the non-existent ‘us’, I’d say no.

“Well goodnight, Grayson.” She smiles as she turns towards her house. When her hand touches the door handle, she spins back around, and my heart skips a beat. “Hey, what song would you have picked for karaoke?”

I smile, scuffing my shoes against the floor. “Livin’ On a Prayer. Without a shadow of a doubt.”

Her smile radiates off her, the gold in her eyes flickering against the streetlights making her look like she’s lit from within. That smile is the fuel that runs in my veins because she doesn’t give it out very easily, but it slays me whenever she offers it to me. Which has been more than a few times today. She turns back towards the door, and I realise I need to stop her.

“Hey, Nora?”

“Yeah?” Her voice is soft as she lifts her head, turning to look over her shoulder.

I take the few steps towards her, revelling in the way her sweet scent filters around me as I get closer. “I’ve got one more question for you,” I murmur, knowing that she’s technically still obliged to say yes. It’s not even close to midnight, but seeing as though the last time this happened, I sprung it on her without asking, I definitely need to ask this time.

Looking down on her, I move my hand to thread into her hair at the nape of her neck tilting her head up towards me. I let time tick by, watching the way her breathing shallows and her pulse quickens against the soft skin of her exposed neck. My little pocket rocket is turned on. I can tell by the way her pupils are blown and how her palms, that have lifted to my chest, fist the material of my shirt. I wonder if she’s even realised she’s touching me right now.

“Would you let me kiss you?” I whisper, so close now that she can probably feel the warmth of my breath dusting against her lips. I’m probably overstepping, but I have to ask. I need to hear her answer.

Heat prickles through my body while I wait for her reply. It’s heady and intoxicating and makes me want more.

“Yes.” She breathes. The way my body goes from hot to boiling has me wanting to shed my layers of clothes right here with her. Right now, I don’t care if she’s saying yes because of the day we’ve had, or if she really means it. I need to kiss her. I want to possess her, claim her, and make her mine, even if it’s just for the next few minutes. I clasp some hair at the base of her neck into my resting hand and lean closer to her perfect pink lips, like an addict desperate for a taste, I feel like I need her more than oxygen. My tongue dips out to wet my bottom lip and I move towards her, her breath catching in her throat.

She closes the last sliver of distance between us and presses her lips to mine. It’s soft and gentle. Everything about it has me wanting more. I pull her closer to me, our bodies flush together as I cover her body with mine, completely and deepening the kiss. I lick a hot line across her bottom lip and take my time. If this is a moment of weakness with her then I’m going to savour it. Leisurely, I move our mouths together. She’s warm and tastes exactly how I remember, sweet and delicious. The tips of our tongues brush against each other again and again as heat spirals around my body.

I break the kiss, rubbing my nose against hers and taking a moment to look at her. Her face relaxed, the ghost of a smile covering her lips, her eyes closed in bliss. She’s breathtaking. My lips tingle, desperate to connect with hers again. So, I do. I press against her mouth again and I feel her lips tip upwards in a smile. I’m in heaven. I roll my hips towards her and push my tongue into her hot mouth, urging hers out too so I can suck on it.

Her arms loop around my neck and I groan inwardly. She’s getting confident with her kiss now, diving in to take my lips the way she wants, the way I want her to. Her lips are greedy and I’m so fucking here for it. This kiss is making me lose all function and be taken over by the throbbing in my chest and my cock.

We kiss until we’re both breathless and pawing at each other’s clothes, out here in the street. Reality slams into me like a freight train; we could’ve easily been caught by Jess or Liam, and I know that’s something Nora didn’t want.

I place one more chaste kiss on her lips and forcibly move away from her. Everything in my body is screaming to move closer to her again, but I can’t. That’s it. One kiss on her yes day.

“Goodnight, Nora.”

She stares at me for a beat, assessing me – trying to read me. I’m not sure I could even tell her what I’m feeling right now, because I don’t even know.

“Goodnight, Grayson.”

Chapter 15

Grayson

06:00am

I stare at my clock as it blinks at me, mocking me, while I wonder why time is moving so slowly this morning. I’ve been awake since 5am. I woke covered in sweat, vivid memories playing on my mind. My parents’ arguments sometimes echo in my subconscious and cause me stress. Usually I can ignore them, but something has been bothering me the last couple of weeks, which has made them harder to ignore.

Sleep hasn’t always been easy for me, my mind always racing, trying to keep itself busy. It’s been two weeks since the yes day with Nora and every time I close my eyes I can see her on that stage, sitting in that tattoo chair gripping onto my hand, wrapping her arms around my chest as I speed off on my bike, looking up at me on her doorstep, lips parted, ready to kiss me again and fuck, it’s messing with my head. I needed space to remind myself that we’re only friends. Luckily work has been crazy busy, but we’ve barely spoken and it’s for the best. Except I have to see her today.

I decide to stop my whirling thoughts by sweating them out in the gym.

I push my body hard, relishing in the burn. This is when I feel my best; I know my body’s limits and I know how far I can push myself. It’s why I liked fighting so much. Having this control over my body makes me feel like I have control in my life; even when everything is spiralling out of control like it is right now.

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