Page 21 of Inked Heart

Did he just break up with me? Or did I break with him? All I can see is Ross and Rachel and he better not fuck the hot girl at the copy place. I am so fucking confused right now and all I can do is stand in the reception area, staring at his back as he walks away from me. I am frozen.

Once he’s gone and I have had a moment to take a deep breath, I look down at my outfit and realize I am not wearing much. I have on a black spaghetti strap tank top, which is currently about six sizes too small. Before getting pregnant I had B cup tits at best, but now I have at least a DD thing going on. I rarely wore bras before and now I don’t have any that fit.

My big ass baby bump is hanging out of the bottom of the shirt, so it kind of looks like I have a crop top on. My shorts also leave a lot to be desired. They don’t button and are so short, I might as well just be wearing panties. I groan. In my defense, pregnancy brain is a real thing. I barely roll out of bed in the morning, let alone have time to find appropriate clothing. Plus, I know it’s March, but I am hot as fuck. I can’t get comfortable and I stay naked at home.

I know in my heart that he’d never hurt me but getting my head on board is hard as fuck. I must finish this frat boy tat, so I waddle my ass back to Miles’ office. He’s never here anymore, which is rare for my brother. This place is his life. I think he has girlfriend or something.

Seeing a Vikings sweatshirt tossed over the back of his chair, I grab it and put it on. It fits like a dress. Rolling up the sleeves, I go back out to my station and finish the tribal band around his bicep. Since I have no other appointments for the day, I head out. I know I should go make things right with El, but I am still pissed and don’t want to say anything I will regret.

I head over to AvaLynn’s house. I need some girl talk and ice cream. She is always readily available with both. Plus, I haven’t seen my God kids in a week or more and they grow super-fast.

She opens the door, holding a sleeping Abby. I cannot help the smile that spreads over my face looking at the little angel in her arms; realizing soon, I will be walking around holding my own little pink angel. With that thought, I rub my bump and walk into the house.

Ava immediately wraps me in a hug, somehow sensing I need one and then she busts out in a low-laugh “What are you wearing?”

“It’s a long story. Do you have ice cream?” I ask.

“Of course. Head on into the kitchen and I will put her down. Ez is already in his crib.”

I make myself at home by rooting around the freezer. Ava has the basic store brand vanilla right up front, but I keep digging until I get to the Haagen-Dazs. Cookies and Cream.

“Whoa, this must be huge. Bringing out the big guns.” Ava says coming into the kitchen and grabbing one of the spoons I laid out.

“It is. At least to me.”

“Tell me.” I am usually very reserved, but with her I have never been able to hold back. Which is one of the reasons she is the first person I told about El and the baby.

I cannot hold my tears as I tell her what happened at the shop.

“Why do I let them define me?” I ask, between hiccoughs. “El is the greatest, sexiest, most stable guy in the world, but I continue to let them affect me. Help me Ava. I don’t want to ruin this, but I might.”

“Oh, honey. You cannot help who you parents are. You’ve just got to remember that they were good people. Your daddy was a sick man and your mama knew what she was getting herself into when she stayed with him. She loved him, probably just as obsessively as he loved her. It just manifested itself in different ways. You told me she used to show up at the office, leaving you with his nine-hundred-year-old secretary. You know she was marking her territory for those bitches in his office. You struggle with it more because they died. If they were still here, El’s behavior wouldn’t bother you in the slightest. Give yourself over to him Kitty. If you truly love him, then the past doesn’t matter. Let it go. For your sake and for Baby Girl Monte-q’s.

“Oh my god, I do the same thing to El.” Remembering the amount of times I’ve showed up at his office to please him.

“I do it to Ham too and the only lady in the office is Rosy.” She says laughing. “It’s what we do.” We chat a bit more about motherhood and this insane idea she has for a clothing boutique, before both babies wake and I take my leave.

Feeling better but not completely ready to give into my heart, I head over to my brother’s house. It’s Tuesday and they suck at cleaning. If I didn’t do it, it would never get done. However, after letting myself in I see the place is immaculate, including the bathroom.

There are panties hanging on one of those drying racks in Miles bathroom. I am almost stunned into silence. Don’t get me wrong because I am happy for him. Whoever she is and to be here at his place, it must be serious. It does make me wonder, why hasn’t he let us meet her? When I get back out to the living room, the guys have come home from the shop.

“Hi guys, do you want me to make dinner?” I say. I know I am stalling with El, but I still need a little time.

“We won’t turn it down, Kitty-Girl.” Dex says, pulling me into a hug.

“Why have you been crying?” Chip asks. I hate that he notices every damn thing.

“Just a fight with El. I’ll get over it.”

“Do we need to kick his fucking ass?” Miles asks, cracking his knuckles.

“Uh, no. I’ve got this. What do you guys want for dinner? Meatloaf?” I say laughing. They may be assholes, but they would do anything for me.

“Yeah, and mashed potatoes.” Dex says.

“Corn on the cob.” Chip adds.

“Alright. A meal fit for kings.” I say laughing. I like the way they let me take care of them, but I know it’s only a matter of time before they each get a woman who won’t like that.

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