Page 69 of Secret Desire

Oh shit, Cox just punched Reed!

Daaamn. Cox almost punched me!

Girl, you’ve got to come back. Take his call before he punches everyone out.

Then I tapped on Steven’s messages.

Loverboy:Why aren’t you answering?

I checked the cameras. You bolted out. What happened?

Just checked the playback and saw you fight with fuckin’ Reed.

What happened? Are you hurt? Where are you?

Andrew says he doesn’t know where you are.

I called Kenny, and he says he doesn’t know where you are.

Where are you? I’m gonna go find Reed.

Fuckin’ Reed won’t tell me what happened.

Answer your phone.

Come back. We’ll handle Reed together.

Me to Andrew:I’ll call you later. I’m fine. Really. Sorry to worry you. I quit. Pls process the paperwork. I’ll explain later.

I hesitated before texting Steven. It wasn’t right to break up with him by text. I felt like such a coward. But it had to be done and in such a way that he would believe it was real, or else he would know that I was making it up. If only he hadn’t seen the fight between me and Reed in the lobby.

Every time I thought I had figured out what to say, I realized he would see right through it. He would never willingly believe that I would quit my job and give up my career. There was only one thing I could do to make him believe it.

I had to hurt him as badly as Barb had so that his pain would blind him to my lies.

Me to Loverboy:I’m leaving you and going back to Kenny. I don’t care about you. Never did and never will. I only used you to advance my career. You were right. Wall Street is filled with sharks, and I don’t have the strength to fight them anymore. Reed was just being Reed, but I don’t want to deal with men like that anymore. And I don’t need to because I have Kenny. So, I quit my job. I don’t need you anymore. Kenny has always been my home. He knows how to take care of a woman. Goodbye.

I felt like a hundred blades were shredding through my heart with each word I texted. By the end of it, my entire body was shaking, but it was the kind of pain I welcomed as punishment for hurting him so much.

I blocked Steven’s number as soon as I sent the last text. I didn’t want his reply to sway me. I would do this for him. It was the only way to protect him and everything he had worked toward for almost three decades. I wouldn’t let a fling with me ruin him.

Texts from Andrew began flooding my screen, but I wouldn’t read those now either. I turned off my phone, put it in my purse, and allowed the tears to fall.

Half an hour later, my chest still heaving, I wiped my eyes and got back on the road. I was heading to my favorite forest, located a few hours away. Once I got there, I would go for a hike to clear my head. And continue to cry.

My hand went slack. The phone slid from my palm and crashed to the floor.

The hammering of my heart was deafening.

No. It couldn’t be.

She was lying. She had to be. She would never use anyone. She was a good person. She would never have used me like that. But then…maybe she would, and I just hadn’t seen it coming.

I hadn’t seen it coming with Barb either all those years ago. I thought Laura was different from all the other women, but maybe she wasn’t.

I grabbed my computer monitor and flung it across the room. It slammed into the wall and fell to the floor as I dropped to my knees, clenched my fists, and bellowed.

She wasn’t different at all.

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