Page 4 of Fighting the Darkness

Mom doesn’t speak right away. “I know it sounds bad...”

“No. It doesn’t just sound bad. It is bad. He’s a terrible father, and he’s the reason his son is dead. I don’t know why you stay with him.”

“I love him. He’s my husband. Yes, he made mistakes, but so have I. So have all of us. Everyone needs to stop holding it against them. He’s just a man.”

Wilder scoffs. “A man that got his son killed.”

My spirits lift hearing Wilder say all the things I’ve been saying for months. I’m glad it’s not just me who feels that way. Sure, things haven’t been great between my parents since Freyr’s death, but she’s always taken his side when I say anything against him. It’s part of the reason I stopped bothering to talk to her about anything I’m feeling. Having her dismiss my feelings about my dad told me everything I needed to know. I know she loves me, but she also loves my dad. She refuses to see where I’m coming from and why I’m feeling this way.

Why should I tell her about the darkness batting around inside of me when she dismisses my feelings about my dad? I’m not taking the chance that she’d try to dismiss them as if they mean nothing as well.

“I know Freyr’s death hurt you, Wilder, but you can’t lay all the blame on Erik.”

There’s another moment of silence, and I hate that I can’t see what’s going on in there. But I know if I were in the room, this conversation wouldn’t even be happening.

“I think this is one topic we’re always going to disagree on, Liv. Why don’t we talk about something else?”

“You’re probably right.” Mom pauses, and when she speaks again, there’s a hesitation to her words. “I was wondering if you might consider talking to Freya? None of her friends have even tried to come around since the incident, and she has no one to talk to. I know you and Freyr were closer, but you used to be close to Freya as well.”

There’s another pause before Wilder’s gruff voice booms throughout the room, more forcefully than I think he intended. “That wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“What? Why? I don’t understand.”

“Sorry, Liv, but I really need to get going. I’ll see you next week or the week after, okay?”

“But—“

The sound of a stool scraping across the floor reaches my ears, and I push myself flat against the wall. There’s a chance Wilder will see me when he leaves, since he’ll have to walk right past this hallway to get to the front door, but I can’t seem to pull myself away from my hiding spot.

“I love you, Liv. Just keep trying with Freya. She’ll open up to you when she’s ready. But I really do need to get going. I have to meet with my trainer so I can get a workout in before my fight tonight.”

Mom tries to call after him, but I hear his heavy footfalls coming toward me. He passes me so quickly, I don’t really get a good look at him. But I watch his powerful body striding down the hall as long as I can. The front door swings shut just before my stomach lets out another growl.

I turn the corner and step into the kitchen, finding Mom worrying over a hand towel with her hands. Her head jerks up at my entry, her eyes going wide.

“Freya!”

I don’t bother trying to force a smile. I just don’t have the bandwidth to pretend right now. “Afternoon, Mom. It sounded like someone just left. Who was it?”

Mom waves off my words. “It was just Wilder. He just stopped in to say hi. Are you hungry? I can make you something. Cook had an appointment, so you’ll have to deal with my cooking.”

“That would be great, Mom. Thanks.” I settle at the table and pull my phone out. I quickly search the club name I remember Freyr mentioning, The Guillotine, finding that they are having a fight tonight. I tap my lips as I pull up the address.

I think it’s about time I leave the house after all. The idea of being a part of something that my brother loved has me feeling light for the first time in a long time. I can see the place where he spent most of his weekends doing something he loved.

When my mom sets a plate of scrambled eggs and sausage in front of me, I thank her before digging in. She knows that no matter what time of day, I always want breakfast for my first meal of the day. She drops into the chair across from me and just watches me eat.

I lift my eyebrows as I set down my fork. “Is there a reason you’re staring at me like a crazy stalker?”

“How are you doing today? You look better.”

“That’s because I showered, and today is a good day so far.” I hesitate. “In fact, I think I’m going to go out for a bit tonight.”

Mom looks surprised. “Oh? With who? Where are you going?”

I shrug. “By myself, and I don’t know where yet. I just think it’s time for me to get out of the house. Isn’t that what you wanted me to do?”

“Of course it is, but only if you’re ready. I’m really not trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to,” Mom starts, and I hold up my hand to cut her off.

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