Page 54 of Fighting the Darkness

We both burst into laughter before quickly sobering. I finish my stretches, sitting up to face him. “Why do you put up with it? Why not just tell him it bothers you that he flirts with others in front of you?”

“It doesn’t always bother me. It didn’t bother me when he flirted with you,” Griffin admits before sighing. “I shouldn’t have told you any of that.”

“I’m glad you did. Plus, it was a question for a question. It wouldn’t have been fair if you didn’t.” I lay back on the mat, Griffin following me. “This sucks.”

“It does, but we don’t always get what we want in life, do we?”

I laugh, but there’s no amusement there. “No, we don’t—something I know very well.”

“I know you do.” We lay there in silence. At some point in time, Griffin’s hand bumps against mine and when he doesn’t move it, I link my pinky with his.

For just a moment in time, I feel at peace with Griffin at my side. If only it could last.

Chapter Twenty-four

Freya

“Damnit,Soren.Willyou just give me a straight answer?” I feel like stomping my feet on the ground as I stand in front of him, hands on my hips.

The smirk on his face makes me want to smack him, but I somehow restrain myself. Though, his next words almost send me flying at him. “You look a bit like a toddler who isn’t getting their way right now.”

I screech louder than I mean to, and the sound echoes throughout the gym. I can feel eyes on me as some of the guys stop their workout. Most of them keep going since me and Soren arguing happens at least once a week.

“That didn’t help your cause.” Soren shakes his head. “Are you done with your tantrum yet?”

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath before looking up at him again. “All I’m asking for is an idea of when you think I’ll be able to get my first fight. I’m someone who likes to work toward goals, and having an idea will help me.”

“You’ll need to talk to Griff. He’s the one who sets up the fights.” Soren shakes his head at me. “You’ve only been doing this for a month and a half. You’re not ready.”

“I know I’m not ready, asshole. If you’d listen to the words coming out of my mouth, you’d know that already. I’m just looking for a bit of motivation.” I deserve a prize for dealing with him when he gets like this.

Soren shrugs. “I have no idea when you’ll be ready. All I can tell you is that we’ll know when we’re ready. If you want more than that, then go talk to Griffin.”

I didn’t want to bother Griffin, which is why I asked Soren, but that’s obviously getting me nowhere. Spinning on my heel, I head for Griffin’s office.

“Where are you going, sunshine?” Soren calls after me. “We’re not done with our session.”

“I’m going to talk to Griffin like you suggested.”

Soren sighs. “I didn’t mean right now.”

“Too bad.” I glance over my shoulder at him, grinning. “You should’ve been clearer.”

It’s been a long month. I’m once again back to training with just Soren and Griffin. Wilder has been completely AWOL. He hasn’t been showing up for his own training sessions, and even Griffin hasn’t been able to reach him by phone. He hasn’t been to The Guillotine since the night we slept together, which I only know because I’ve been there quite a bit to hang out with Vicki and Quinn. They both seem to think I need to be updated about the lack of Wilder, but I’m not allowing myself to care.

He’s obviously dealing with some shit that’s none of my business. He’s made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want me to be a part of his life, and I’ve accepted that.

Now, if I could just get my heart to accept it, that would be great.

At least things have been better with Soren. He stopped calling me princess and has stuck to sunshine, which I don’t get. I’m not exactly a ray of sunshine, but anything is better than the annoying way he’d call me a princess. Training has been progressing well, and I’m training at No Hold Barred five days a week now for four hours at a time. I’m still taking the ballet and yoga classes, but cut out the Pilates. Every morning, Cook still runs with me—rain or shine. And I’m actually running now. We’ve still only built up to three miles, but I don’t have to walk at all. My pace is picking up every day. And I’m finally up to a healthy weight, though Cook and Griffin refuse to take me off the nutritional plan. Something about needing to make sure I’m getting enough calories for how much I’m working out, or some shit like that.

Honestly, I think I’m doing amazingly. Even if Soren keeps feeling the need to point out, I’ve barely chipped the surface of my training. I’m not insane. I know if I were to fight right now, I’d be out in the first round with my ass handed to me. I just need something to look forward to. I need something to distract me from my unnecessary worry over Wilder and if he’s okay. Not that I care one way or the other.

Come on, let me at least attempt to lie to myself.

I’m falling in love with MMA. Not only do I feel like Freyr’s with me every time I train, but I enjoy it. I understand why he fell in love with it. There’s just something about it that pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Or at least it does for me. Apparently, it’s not for everyone.

Shaking my head as I reach Griffin’s office, I knock. When he calls out to come in, I push it open. He’s sitting at his desk as usual, but he’s leaning close to the screen with his eyes squinting. I snicker at the picture it makes.

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