Page 48 of Fighting the Darkness

“Almost eleven,” I offer and he curses as he jumps out of the bed.

“Shit. We’re late.” He runs a hand over his face. “I need to shower and get ready. Are you good to get back to your place so you can get ready?”

I stare at him in shock. Is he really going to act like the night before didn’t happen? I know he said it was only the one night, but I had hoped that he would change his mind. But even if he didn’t, he could at least acknowledge the fact that we’re both butt ass naked in his bed. Dread washes over me, and I know this isn’t going to turn out like I thought it would. It was stupid of me to get my hopes up, but I thought maybe I’d finally earned some good karma and things would work in my favor for once.

I guess not.

“Freya? Did you hear me?”

Steeling myself, I sit up and allow the sheet to fall away from me. I watch as his eyes drop to my tits before he turns his back on me like he’s not as naked as me. That’s fine. If he wants to act like we didn’t spend the whole night fucking, then fuck him. Two can play this game—not that I think it’s a game, but the point still stands. I’m not going to allow him to tear me down after I’ve worked so hard to build myself back up again.

Obviously, last night was a mistake that he’s regretting, and now, so am I. That’s fine. I can live with that—I think.

“Yeah, I’ll grab a car. Go ahead and get in the shower. I’ll see you at the gym.” I’m proud of the fact that my voice gives nothing away.

Leaning down, I grab my clothes from the floor and pull them on, hating that I once again have to go without panties. I can hear him hesitate behind me for a moment before moving into the bathroom. As soon as the door shuts behind him, my shoulders slump. Of all the ways this morning could have gone, this isn’t how I saw it going. But that’s okay. I made the decision to go to bed with him, knowing he didn’t want anything more.

As the saying goes, I’ve made my bed, and now I have to lie in it.

I order a car and within five minutes, I’m out of Wilder’s house. I shoot a quick message to Griffin, apologizing for oversleeping. I tell him I need to shower, and then I’ll be on my way. My phone is practically dead, so I just turn it off. At this point, there’s no one I want to talk to, anyway.

I lean my head against the window, watching as everything flies by. I don’t know what I was thinking last night when I told him to fuck me. Don’t get me wrong, it was some of the best sex I’ve ever had, but the pain now radiating in my chest isn’t worth it.

Wilder already broke my heart when we were teenagers. I shouldn’t have allowed him to do it again as an adult. It’s a mistake that I will try my hardest to never repeat again. Not just with Wilder, but with any man. I’ve given my heart too easily time and time again. It’s time to stop making it so easy for others to hurt me.

How does that old song go that my mom loves? Something about hardening your heart? That’s what I need to do.

Damn, I wish Freyr was here. I know he’d know just the right thing to pull me up. But he’s not here, and that just makes my heart hurt more. What is it that’s so wrong with me that makes it so easy for everyone to leave me?

I know that’s not fair. It’s not as if Freyr chose to leave me, but it hurts just the same. I’m so tired of hurting. I just want to stop feeling the pain.

I wish I knew how to make it stop.

“We’re here, Miss.”

I jerk my head up, surprised to find we’re sitting outside my house. I must’ve been lost in my thoughts longer than I thought. I thank my driver when he drops me off before hurrying into the house.

“Freya?”

I freeze on the stairs, turning to find my mom standing at the base of them. “Hi, Mom.”

“Are you just getting in?” she asks, eyeing the jumpsuit as she knows it’s what I wore last night.

“Yeah. Wilder and I had just a little too much to drink, so we crashed at his place. But I’m late getting to the gym, so I need to shower and get on my way.”

Mom opens her mouth as if to say something before snapping it shut. I wait another moment to see if she’ll say anything else before hurrying up the stairs. I don’t have time for this.

Twenty minutes later, I’m climbing into my SUV and barreling toward the gym. By the time I make it there, it’s after noon. I wore my gym clothes over because it’s just easier, so I rush into the gym, heading straight for the mat where Griffin, Soren, and Wilder are waiting for me.

“I’m so sorry,” I tell them, tossing my back on the floor and dropping into my first stretch. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

As I stretch, I keep my eyes on the floor, not able to meet any of their eyes. Wilder because of this morning. Soren and Griffin because they know I left with Wilder last night, and while we might not have arrived together, we were both late.

Soren huffs. “What did I tell you about being late?”

“Not now, Sor.” Griffin’s tone is firm. “Just don’t make a habit of it, Freya.”

I nod, still refusing to look up as I listen to Soren grumble about Griffin letting me get away with too much. Meanwhile, Wilder is even quieter than usual, and I can’t help but peek at him from under my lashes.

---