Page 84 of Demanding Mob Boss

"Sometimes. Sometimes the touch feels so wrong that even when you've washed every inch of skin, it still feels like it's there."

"You sound like you know."

He shrugs.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I know I don't want to talk about what happened to me today.

"There are no gay mobsters. At least that's what everyone likes to believe. It's what my ma and da think."

"That's a statistical improbability."

He laughs, but the sound is harsh. Hurt.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. Connor is my friend. I don't want him to hurt.

"Not really, no."

"Can I help?"

"How are you asking me that when you're still stressed out by what happened with the cops?"

"Because you're my friend. You came in here to make sure I am okay."

"And now you're making sure I'm okay?" he asks, sounding both amused and something else.

Sad?

"I don't like talking sometimes."

"Is this one of them?"

I have more words than usual, but yes. "Uh huh."

"So, I should talk?" He sounds almost grateful. Like he wants to talk.

"Yes."

"I'm gay." He says it like he's admitting something huge.

"I'm not."

He laughs. "Is that your way of saying it doesn't matter?"

"Uh huh." I turn my head and let my cheek rest on the tub rim between my hands, none of my skin touching.

"It matters to my family. I mean I think it does. Ma and Da, they've never said anything antigay to me, but the mob…it's not LGBTQ friendly, you know?"

"Why?"

"Tradition? Ignorance? Religion? Take your pick."

If I got to pick it would be none of the above. I always liked that option on tests. It made it less stressful to pick my answers when I knew I didn't have to choose one on the list.

"Since I was a teen, every once in a while, when I'm out with the lads, I pick up a woman. We have sex and they think I'm normal like them."

"I emulate people too, so they'll think I’mnormallike them." That's how I'd kept my jobs before, but it never lasts long. Eventually, they see the differences and things don't work out.

Everywhere but at Doyle & Byrne.

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