Page 45 of Demanding Mob Boss

"She is still the reason Shea was there."

"What do you suggest?" The young woman might not have known that she was luring Shea to an assault, but she's still culpable.

"Her friend was a drug dealer. It shouldn't take too much to find something on her and get her kicked out. Shea should never have to see her again."

"Do it, but Shea isn't giving that school another fucking chance."

"Your sister is transferring to a different university?"

"Ma thinks she should join Máire in Ireland."

"Shea already said she didn't want to do that."

I nod. "I suggested Smith." It's out of state and an all-women's university.

"You think she'll go for it?"

Before this happened? My sister was adamant she wanted to stay in Chicago. Now? She's broken in a way I didn't know she could be. "Maybe."

Chapter 15

ANNA

My tent usually allows me to quiet my brain. Especially if I'm the only one home.

But my thoughts whirl and whirl and whirl.

I can hardly believe I offered my naked chest to Cian to calm him down. It worked and I don't regret that. But it's the way I responded to his voice, his eyes on me…his touch. My brain floated away on a cloud of pure bliss.

While he held me, that bliss was amazing. But later, it left me even more open to everything and everyone around me. Like my whole body is one exposed raw nerve. Was it the trip to the hospital that tipped me over? I wanted to go to support Cian, but I ended up needing his help to get home.

Tears burn a path down my temples. I used to cry all the time, alone in my room at my aunt and uncle's home, after Mom and Dad were killed. Eventually, I stopped. I realized that tears never made anything better. They made my eyes burn and gave me a headache.

This is just one more example of something that started out good ended up being something I should never, ever do again.

Only, I don't know if I'll be able to help myself. I wanted to go to Cian's house so badly. To lay in his bed and inhale his scent, even if he wasn't there. He's my boss, not my boyfriend. No matter how kind he is.

Eventually, he'll get tired of being nice. Everyone does. How many teachers and school counselors reached out to me over the years? Every single one gave up when they realized that a few hugs and an offer to talk if I needed it wasn't going to make my issues magically disappear.

Ini and Mrs. Hart are the only ones who never got tired of being my friends. But I'm careful not to be too needy. And I don't crave being near them like I do Cian. If he knew how much I wish I could be with him all the time, he would run the other way.

The only other person I ever felt that way about was my mom and even she needed breaks from me. She hated summer, when I didn't have to go to school. She'd get overwhelmed spending all day with me. I heard her tell my dad often enough.

That didn't stop her from performing our rituals, the things that muffled the noise inside my brain. We ate dinner at the same time every night and then watched Jeopardy after. Back when Alex Trebek was still the host.

I still watch the show, but it's not the same without her beside me. It helps me remember her though. I watch reruns from back then and pretend she's sitting beside me sometimes.

I tried to give Mom space, like I needed from other people. But it was never enough. Even so, I know she loved me. So did my dad. When they died, there was no one left to love me. I lost my anchor.

Cian doesn't deserve for me to make him my anchor now. He has a mob and a whole bunch of businesses to oversee. He doesn't need a clingy admin who craves his nearness and touch worse than any drug.

I'm going to have to quit my job. Ini and Mrs. Hart will be relieved.

That's something, right?

I can't stop the tears falling as I bury my face in my pillow.

CIAN

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