Page 107 of Demanding Mob Boss

It feels so good, I float in peace, not even resenting the loss of his smell on my skin. We are together now. Permanently. I can get his smell all over me again.

After I've been soaking for about half an hour, he brings me breakfast and joins me in the bathtub. We feed each other the fresh pastries and fruit he had delivered. I love the intimacy of that almost as much as when he touches me in ways no one else can.

~ ~ ~

When I tell Ini I'm moving in with him, she's not surprised, but she's not happy either. "This is fast, Anna. I'm worried about you. What happens if he gets tired of you?"

He won't. We made promises with our bodies.

"I'm going to keep paying my half of the rent for the next year at least." Hopefully, that will put her mind at ease.

"Can you afford that?" She sounds doubtful.

"Cian won't let me pay him rent, or anything else, so I'll be able to put money in savings."

"I'm glad you're not going into this blind, sweetie. I'm scared for you, but I also like hearing you sound so happy."

The savings and the rent are for Ini's sake and her peace of mind, but that's what you do for family. You help them not to worry about you.

"I am happy."

"I hear a but…" she says leadingly.

"I want children, but I'm scared I won't be a good mom."

"Isn't it a little early to be talking about having kids together? Maybe see how things are a year from now before making decisions that big."

"But I'll be the same person in a year that I am now."

"First, that isn't exactly true. You're not the same person you were four months ago. Neither am I. We all change. Every encounter we have, ever experience changes us, even if it's such a small change no one else can see it. Like a built memory."

"Okay."

"Second, if, after you've made sure you and Cian are in this for the long haul, you decide to have a baby, you'll be an amazing mom."

"How can you be sure?" Ini, of all people, knows my limitations.

"Because you're kind and loving. Anna, that's what matters. You'll love your children and you'll do whatever you have to in order to take care of them. Just like you kept looking for job after job that made you miserable so you could pay your half of our living expenses. You're strong enough to do what you need to for your family."

"What if I don't want to hug my child?" I voice one of my biggest fears. I don't even like hugging Ini.

"You don't have any trouble touching Cian." There's a disapproving tone in her voice when she says his name, like every time she uses it. "You'll be the same way with any children you two have together."

"I wish I could be sure."

"Did you mind your parents hugging you?" she asks.

"No."

"Not even your dad?"

I know why she's asking. Because I loved my dad, but he wasn't my person. That was my mom.

"No." I liked my dad's hugs, but he knew not to hold me too long.

"So, why would you think your children wouldn't be the same?"

"What if I need to retreat into my quiet place?"

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