Page 66 of Love Me In Color

My parents had argued this morning about the excessive number of cups my mom had bought. They argued about the fact that my dad hadn’t mowed the yard and that it made them look unkept to everyone who came to the party and to the neighbors. Right now, they could have been arguing about the height of the cake or the temperature.

During the last few hours, they had put on an impeccable façade of happiness. They portrayed the image of the perfectly happy family having the perfect thirteenth birthday party for their only child. But I was sure they would argue about something else later when I was in my room, and they thought I couldn’t hear them.

Their preferred method of communication for the last six months had been screaming.

I had grown accustomed to it and would either tune it out or go to Erik’s house. Today, he stood by the table with the presents, helping his dad move them right in front of my feet. He knew about all the arguments and didn’t know what to do to help me, but I found his gaze comforting, even at thirteen. They were the eyes of my best friend. The person who would be there when I cried about it later.

My aunt developed an uncomfortable smile as we waited for my parents. All the adults knew what had been decided and showered me with pitiful looks. This wasn’t anything new for me, but I was sure they knew something I didn’t. Adults often did.

My aunt opened the back door to bring them out for presents. My mom’s voice clearly came through.

“Just because you suddenly decided to divorce me and tell me I wasn’t good enough for you doesn’t give you the right to treat me like crap!” she screamed at my dad.

A soft but collective gasp took the air out of my lungs. My parents were getting a divorce?

My heart rate quickened.

“That’s not what I said! Stop twisting my words around you –”

My hands were clammy.

“Stanley!” my aunt yelled, stopping my dad’s voice.

I couldn’t breathe with all the eyes on me. I shoved everything aside and ran to the opposite side of the house, straight to my bedroom. I locked myself in my room and sat in my closet.

My body was trembling – an experience I had never had before. I stayed in my wet swimsuit. My hair dripped on my back, mimicking the tears running down my sun-kissed cheeks.

My parents and aunt chased me to my room, but I refused to unlock the door. I was shaking and crying and couldn’t breathe.

“Leave me alone!” I screamed for the fifth time.

“Okay, okay,” my dad’s quivering voice came through the door. “We’ll be out here when you’re ready to talk, Blake.”

I tried to steady my breath. The closet door creaked open, which should have been impossible. I would have heard my parents if they had managed to get the door open. A scrawny Erik stood in front of me.

“I used the window,” he explained with a casual shrug.

He took a seat next to me and enveloped me in a hug. We were both still wet from the pool, and the A/C made our swimsuits cold to the touch. I stayed in Erik’s arms for who knows how long until my breath steadied, and I could breathe again.

~

I had been old enough to understand what divorce meant, and my parents told me a million times that it wasn’t my fault. After seeing the look on my face that day, they stopped arguing as much. The divorce was quick and painless, as much as one can be. My mom kept the house, and my dad moved just a few houses down.

I still saw him almost every day and maintained a good relationship. Any hint of anger and resentment between them dissipated over the years. Neither of them ever remarried, and life went on.

However, I never celebrated my birthday anymore and hated getting presents for it. It had been marred in my brain as the day that I found out my family was falling apart. I wasn’t surprised, but I was heartbroken.

The presents that never got unwrapped sat in the garage for months until I could look at them without crying. My parents tried to introduce a counteracting happy memory about my birthday every year for five years, but I never engaged. They encouraged me to celebrate and bought me presents, but I just wanted to move on with my day.

Today was no different. Except, I had been roped into going to The Boathouse. At least I would finally be able to see the blue that existed in the restaurant.

“Why can’t I just keep watching movies and eat my pizza?” I groaned as they ushered me out the door.

“Because you just can’t,” Gabby said. Even though they were the ones who wanted me to go, they did not seem all that excited about it. I tried to make a run for it, but they wouldn’t let me leave their sight.

Nathaniel sighed and reluctantly opened the door to the restaurant. I had a sinking feeling in my chest. We weren’t just here for dinner and a drink. In the back room, balloons blocked most of the windows, and I could see Lainee’s smiling face.

“No, no, no. Please tell me that you didn’t,” I turned to Gabby. Nathaniel grabbed my shoulders to stop me from walking out.

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