Page 61 of Candy Canes & Caroling

“It seems the story he tells the world is a whole lot different from the truth,” Audrey said, sipping her coffee. “I wonder why he performed that poem if he didn’t want people to know the truth about his past.”

“Maybe he wanted just one person to know the truth and that was the only way he could tell it,” Mel suggested.

When I looked up, four sets of eyes homed in on me. “I already knew what happened to Irving,” I said to shut them down.

Ivy shrugged so nonchalantly it was the surefire sign I was in for it. “You knew the sequence of events, but I bet you didn’t know the sequence of emotions he expressed in that poem.”

“Were you there?” I asked in curiosity, glancing at all of them. “I don’t understand how you all heard this poem.”

Ivy bit her lower lip for a moment before she spoke. “The librarian recorded it. He doesn’t know?”

My eyes widened and I shook my head as I leaned in. “No, he has no idea. Neither did I! What did she do with the recording?”

“She put it on the website like always,” Ivy answered. “Honestly, I thought it was great. That was the most powerful, emotional poem I’ve heard in my lifetime. More people need to hear it. It makes you stop and think about the fragility of our bodies and how our lives are often changed in an instant.”

I glanced behind me again to see Irving in contention for winning cornhole against Holly. “He told me he made it up as he spoke it. He just closed his eyes and said what came to him.”

“That’s because he was performing that poem for you and you alone,” Audrey said. “He was desperate for you to understand how that bullet changed him, for a reason that’s between you two. All I can say is, it brought tears to my eyes to hear him so desolate and pained. He is so loved in this community, but it also helped me separate his public life from his personal one. It told me that the face he shows the public isn’t always how he feels.”

I nodded; glad the heat was off me now. “You nailed it. That was exactly what he was trying to say with the poem. We all have two personas, a public and a private, but for some reason, people think the disabled are inspirational and full of hope all day, every day. The poem was a way of saying a lot of what you see when he’s facing the public is an act. Yet, after he finished performing, he still had to wade through all theyou’re so inspirationalcomments before he could leave. People didn’t understand what he was trying to say.”

“One person did, though, right?” Ivy asked with a brow up.

“Of course, Ivy, but the thing is, I didn’t need the poem to understand. I already knew his heart.”

“Is that because you love him?” Audrey asked, matter of fact.

“I don’t think that’s anyone’s business but ours,” I said as Mel and Addie snorted.

“So, that’s a yes,” Mel said. “I remember the first Thanksgiving dinner where I was grilled about living with Mason. Don’t worry, you’ll live through it,” she promised with a wink.

“Okay, listen,” I said, my teeth clenched together. “We haven’t gone there. We’re colleagues.” There was never a more accurate definition of lying through your teeth than what I just did.

“Colleagues who are in love,” Addie said, her gaze focused over my shoulder. When I turned, Irving was giving Noella a tour of all the parts of his wheelchair while she touched each one. “He’s one of the good ones. You shouldn’t let him get away.”

As I gazed at him, all I could think was I may not have a choice. If they don’t find Felding soon, and get him back under lock and key, I’m putting all of these wonderful people at risk for a problem that is mine alone.

“I just want to take it slow, okay? He’s been through a lot of bad relationships, and honestly, so have I, so we’re both being cautious.”

“As long as it’s cautiously optimistic,” Indigo said as she walked up to the bench. “Because the way he looks at you when you’re not looking says it all.”

“Hi, Indigo,” I said rather than respond. “Are we still on to decorate the hall Monday? Cameron is dropping off the trees on Sunday.”

“I’m ready!” she exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Who’s coming to help?”

Four hands went high in the air and we all broke out in giggles as the conversation turned to Christmas decorations and cookies. My attention was on Irving as he cleaned up the cornhole boards and then glanced up, searching the room. It wasn’t until his gaze met mine that he smiled. I returned it, stood, and walked out of the kitchen, entranced by the emotion shining in his eyes.

Love coursed through me, but a thread of anxiety followed it. I could lose this man as quickly as I found him because I had no control over the situation in Florida. I vowed to stay in Bells Pass and not fold to the fear of knowing Felding was out there looking for me.

I reminded myself there was no need to be afraid. When I looked into Irving’s eyes, I saw one word.Protect. Some might think that was ridiculous in light of his physical situation, but he’d been protecting me since day one, and I would bet on him every time.

∞∞∞

Hazel tucked her leg under her as she sat down on the couch. “That was Dawson. He’s at work but wanted to let us know that they’re working on the power grid. The snow is coming down so hard they’re struggling to fix it.”

“Welcome to Michigan,” I said, lifting my glass to her with a smile.

“I’m used to power outages from hurricanes in Florida, but when that happens, you’re usually sweltering to death instead of freezing to death.”

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