“Leo…” Sparky says but is cut off by Wyatt. “He’s right, Sparks, we have been weak. We should have had our shit locked down and we didn’t. Now we’re paying the price.”
“We’re Lost Souls! We don’t run! Even if we lose our lives, it’s because we’ve fought to the bitter end!” Clenching my hands, I look at every brother in the room. “What’s the fuckin’ point in our patch if we can’t reach out and ask for help when needed?” I take a deep breath. “After my wedding tomorrow, we’re going to ride south and we’re going to wipe out this Young Hounds crew. Every one of them. We’re not gonna show mercy. We’ll set the message clear for anyone else with aspirations to step onto our territory and try and take what’s ours.”
Brothers holler their agreement and I lean back in my chair. Dad catches my eye and nods.
I hold my hand up for silence and then I continue, “There’s no room for weakness moving forward. The Lost Souls are gearing up a level and we won’t stand for anything less than a hundred percent.”
Brothers pound their hands on the tabletop.
“A new era has begun, brothers, be fuckin’ ready,” Dad hollers and I grin.
I slam the gavel down and stand. “Go drink, fuck, whatever. Tomorrow you’ll be on your best fuckin’ behaviour for my old lady and then Sunday, we ride and we fight.”
Dad hangs back as the brothers file out of the back room. It’s clear he wants to talk so I hang back with him.
“Luca called your mom earlier. He and Victoria will be here in the morning.”
“Good.” Not that I didn’t know. “What’s on your mind, Dad?”
“Not much, I just wanted to say you’re good at bringing the brothers together. I doubt Wyatt will let anything slip through his fingers again, he won’t want to face you.” He laughs.
“He’s gotten lazy. If he can’t handle it anymore, he should let someone else take his place.”
“I don’t disagree.”
“You held back the news about JP.”
His chest heaves with a long sigh and his brows knit together. “He wanted to tell you himself. Can’t say I disagree with how he’s gonna take himself out. I thought about it once or twice when I was ill.”
It wouldn’t have surprised me to hear this at the time knowing my dad, but still, hearing it still guts me as if he actually did it.
“Mom would’ve brought you back and then killed you herself.”
He smiles and nods slowly. “Luckily no one was put in that situation, but JP ain’t fighting his disease. We just need to be there when or if he wants us. And of course, we’ll look after his old lady.”
“It goes without saying.”
He slaps me on the shoulder. “Come on, let the brothers send you off into married bliss and we’ll pick this up Sunday morning.”
With the meeting concluded, there’s one last thing I need to do before tomorrow.
“Give me an hour and I’ll join you. If anyone asks where I am, tell them to mind their own fuckin’ business.”
“Got ya.”
* * *
The night is warm, and I have to climb and jump the gate at the cemetery. I used to prefer visiting India’s grave during the day. I couldn’t stand to think of her out here in the dead of night on her own. I approach the Lost Souls section and stop by her grave.
“Hey, darlin’, it’s been a while since I was last here. There’s quite a bit to catch you up on but I’ll start with Rayna. I decided she’d be homeschooled. I want her where I know she is all the time. She’s a smart kid. Holly says she picks up her maths and her reading real quick. She takes after you, college girl. I can count my money but that’s about where it ends.” I laugh. “The wedding’s tomorrow, I have to admit, for a long time it was only you that I saw walking toward me in a white dress, but I see Holly now and she’s good for us, babe. Not only that, I’m good for her. We fit together.” I light a cigarette and kneel. “I’ll bring Ray out soon, she’s drawn you a picture of a pink butterfly that she says reminds her of you. You’re never forgotten, never.” I inhale the cigarette and exhale the smoke up into the air. “I should also tell you Rayna calls Holly's mom now. I hope you’ll agree that our daughter needs as much normality as possible. I made her understand that Holly is her other mom. She will always know who you are.”
Standing to full height, I finish my cigarette and grind it out underneath my boot.
“You changed me, babe, in ways I’ll never be able to tell you. I guess I wanted to thank you for loving me, and showing me who I could be.”
Pressing a kiss to my fingers, I place it on the top of the headstone. “Watch over us.”
During the ride back to the club, my shoulders are no longer weighed down by grief or guilt. It’s still there but I’m able to compartmentalise the past to where it’s meant to be… in the past.