Page 4 of A Bad Girl's Lesson

CHAPTER3

Marianne

I heard a tiny click, and the buzzing from the device in the doctor’s hand switched off abruptly. I felt like I could never open my eyes again: the thought of the expression of disgust I knew I would see on Nurse Cathy’s face made me want to vanish into a hole in the floor. I heard drawer noises and plastic noises. I chanced it and opened my eyes, only to see that the left side of the awful woman’s lips remained curled into a sneer as she held out the transparent speculum to the doctor.

He took it from her, and she stepped aside, out from between my raised and spread feet, so that he could sit on his wheeled stool and pull it in close. I bit my lip hard, feeling my forehead crease with the hot flood of embarrassment that mounted to the roots of my hair. I had never enjoyed gynecological exams, obviously, but I had never imagined that a doctor could somehow make themworsethan they already were.

To my absolute horror, I heard his tablet give another chime. The doctor had just donned a headband with a light affixed to the forehead, which I might have been able to find ridiculous if I didn’t happen to be gagged and bound naked to his exam chair. Instead, it seemed sinister, and that impression didn’t fade as he looked over to where he had put the tablet, atop the cart.

“You might as well mute that,” he told Nurse Cathy. “Seems like she’s just going to keep setting it off.”

I watched him turn back to me—to me, but not to my face. The doctor focused instead on the part of me that seemed to represent the only important part to him, and to the judicial system… and, apparently, I tried and failed not to recall from the nurse’s ominous words, to some firefighters who would… what?

“I understand you’re intact down here, Marianne,” said the doctor matter-of-factly. “So we’re not going to put the speculum in very far. I wouldn’t mind rupturing your hymen, frankly, just to make certain you’re ready to serve your sexual partners properly, but I know people have some old-fashioned attitudes—especially the sort of men whose lives this program is designed to make a little more rewarding. So, I’ll leave your vagina as I found it and let them make a woman of you the traditional way.”

He accompanied these degrading words, whose clinical tone seemed to make them even worse, with the sudden insertion of the speculum between my pussy-lips. My cry of dismay, around the horrible rubber ball in my mouth, sounded terribly pathetic—almost as if I meant to tell the asshole doctor to go on: as if I too wanted to make sure these “Daddies” Nurse Cathy had spoken of could enjoy deflowering me as they should.

I felt the beak of the plastic thing start to open, just inside my vagina. Knowing that he hadn’t pressed it in very far at all, because even at nineteen, even having tried to scam a wealthy executive with my good looks and my feigned innocence, I hadn’t yet actually become a woman, made the shame much worse. The fact that I had just come, as the nurse applied lube to my clit, under her gloved fingers, deepened the feeling even further. To my distress, instead of giving me some kind of relief, the humiliating orgasm seemed to have increased the shameful need down there even further. I had to bite my lip so hard I tasted the metallic tang of blood to keep from crying out.

“She just recalibrated,” the nurse said. I looked up from the doctor’s frown of concentration as he focused on the treasonously warm, much too exposed region between my thighs to see that Nurse Cathy had turned her attention to his tablet. The nurse’s voice had a note of surprised disdain in it that told me that whatever the fuckrecalibratedmeant, it wouldn’t make me happy.

I closed my eyes, squeezed them shut as firmly as I could. Then, through their translucent lids, I saw a bright flash.

What?!I attempted yet again to demand, and heard yet again the sound of a gagged girl apparently trying to claim she knew better than the medical professional engaged in “caring” for her.

“Would you like to see your hymen?” the doctor asked. He sounded like he meant to sound sympathetic despite the words having no possible sympathetic meaning that I could imagine.

I shook my head violently, but I couldn’t stop myself from opening my eyes to see that he had held his phone up for me to see, even as his attention remained fixed on the place he had just, apparently, taken a picture of. Around the horrible ball in my mouth, I let out a cry of dismay. On the doctor’sphonewas a much-too-clear image of the inside of my virgin vagina.

I managed to turn my head to the side as I tried to demonstrate thatno,I absolutely did not want to see the physiological evidence of my immaturity, my failure to do the thing by age nineteen—the thing that bad girls, girls with smarts, were supposed to find a way to get over with long before they turned nineteen. But I only got my chin about twenty degrees to the left, and my eyes remained fixed in horrified fascination on the picture.

“It’s the whitish ring in the middle, there,” the doctor said in his fake helpful voice. “You can see the hole where it lets your menses come out. It’s a strange and unexplained feature of female anatomy, but when your new supervisors start to train you sexually, it should only take a moment of discomfort and then you’ll be able to enjoy yourself properly, when they allow it.”

I felt my jaw slacken yet again. My eyes for some reason went straight to Nurse Cathy. I had a sudden yearning to see her blush, too, at the degrading, terrifying ideas that the doctor must be putting into her head at the same time he put them into mine. But I found instead her little sneer, and I felt like I could read her mind, as unwelcome as the knowledge of her disgust seemed.

This little whore is going tohateit when her daddies deny her. She’s just that kind of girl… the kind who can’t live without pleasure, without good, hard fucking… the kind who can’t stop thinking about her daddies’ huge, hard cocks… the kind who’ll beg for them, wherever her firefighter stallions want to put them, as long as they let her come, once in a while.

I knew the logic didn’t work… was I the kind of girl who begged for cock because it felt good or despite itnotfeeling good? It didn’t matter at all, and the fact that as a virgin I had no basis for judgment and no experience with any kind of fucking at all made it much worse: I felt my hips twitch against the restraint of the webbing belt around my waist, and I felt myself clench hard down there, tightening against the beak of the speculum.

“Hmm,” the doctor said.

There was no way I could ever convey, in the letters of any alphabet, just how much humiliation he packed into that sound. His decision to leave his reaction there, without saying anything degrading, seemed to deepen the shame even further. He’d had until then no apparent hesitation in that department: my clench at his words and Nurse Cathy’s expression had, it seemed, actually made him so embarrassed for me that he hadn’t said anything at all.

Nurse Cathy had no such compunction. She didn’t even seem to try to stifle her giggle.

“Cathy,” the doctor said, glancing over at her.

My face puckered in distress at the admonition in his tone, and scalding heat mounted up the back of my neck and into my scalp.

“Sorry, doctor,” the nurse replied, her tone so contrite and even fearful that to my distress I instantly had another reason for embarrassment. I heard a note in Nurse Cathy’s voice that suggested that she might well know about paddling from firsthand experience.

The doctor’s next words seemed, dismayingly, to confirm that mortifying impression.

“It’s not only me you should apologize to,” the doctor said. He pulled the speculum out of my vagina. “Let me hear you do that before I get started on the rectal exam.”

I started to shake my head violently, trying to tell them that I had absolutely no need of an apology, but the doctor and his nurse seemed to have forgotten I lay there, bound naked to their exam chair, despite my being the fucking subject of their conversation.

“Doctor,” Nurse Cathy said, “please. She’s a convicted criminal.” She seemed caught between her fear of the consequences the doctor might impose and her indignation at the idea she might have to apologize to me.

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