Page 17 of Royal Fate

But that was a matter for tomorrow.

We needed our rest for now.

Chapter6

Mirielle

My throat was raw, less from thirst than from the urge to cry so constantly. Over and over, I swallowed the lump in my throat, determined not to let him see how devastated I was by all that was unfolding around me.

I heeded Zen’s warning about the water, however, and used it sparingly, forcing myself back into the cave when the smoke from the fire began to consume me, the tendrils drawing me in like it was summoning me to the flames. I couldn’t ever remember feeling as lost, as out of sorts, as I did now, never in my whole conflicted life.

In the darkness, the firelight outside barely casting Zen’s profile into play, I lay on my side, staring at him. I silently begged him to turn and face me, to talk to me, if only to yell and scream at me like Agnan had done so many times. The silence was so much worse than anything he might say.

But Zen wasn’t Agnan. He wasn’t violent and petulant. He wasn’t teaching me a lesson. He genuinely had nothing to say to me now, the betrayal so deep. He might never have another word to utter again.

The embers outside died away, and Zen’s breathing grew deeper. He had really fallen asleep now, leaving me awake to ponder the upcoming hours with mounting dread.

I was afraid for myself, but I was afraid for him, too. What would Agnan do when he learned Zen was gone, and I had helped him flee?

I hadn’t been lying when I told Zen that someone would be watching the castle. That would have been Agnan’s first call, to whoever he had closest to Silverhold Tower. There would be someone waiting for our return.

Did he have anyone inside the castle now?

My memories had been gone for so long, I had no way of knowing what was going on within the Order of the Souls now. Agnan could have very well managed to get someone else in there.

Knowing what I knew about Zen and how well he vetted his staff, I found it hard to believe that anyone from the Order had managed to slip in undetected, but I had been out of the loop, and I had no way of knowing what Agnan had been up to in my absence.

Either way, there would be eyes on the exits, undoubtedly following any of the guards coming and going. Sneaking back in was still the smartest way back in undetected by Agnan… or so I hoped.

And what if I was leading him back into another trap? Leadingusinto a trap?

I fully shuddered. The idea of bringing Zen to more danger terrified me more for him than it did for myself, and I couldn’t stop shaking afterward. Away from the warmth of the fire, the cold of the night had settled in, and I couldn’t catch my breath. I curled into a ball and turned away from Zen, rocking my body slowly, wishing his strong arms were around me.

It was only then that I allowed the tears of frustration and sadness to fall until they almost lulled me to sleep, but the chill of the air kept me from fully embracing slumber.

In his sleep, Zen stirred, mumbling something incoherent. I turned my head toward him, and his strong arm overtook my waist, catching me by surprise. Suddenly, I was pulled against his taut torso, the slow, rhythmic pulse of his heart sending another wave of shivers through me. In his sleep, he had reached for me, subconsciously still needing me, and it made me cry harder but quietly.

His body heat washed over me, warming me for the first time all evening, and I exhaled with relief. In his sleep, he snuggled closer, his breath hot on my ear. A wistful moan threatened to escape my lips, but I smothered it, lest I wake him up and ruin the moment I’d so desperately wanted since he’d first found me in Agnan’s rundown house on the outskirts of Catalonia.

I didn’t move, not an inch, not a toe, even as my body responded to him from top to bottom. I longed to wriggle against him, to bury myself into him as I had so many times before, but I didn’t dare.

Instead, I relished the beat of his heart against my back, feeling myself drifting off to sleep as much as I fought it. I didn’t want to miss a second of this, knowing that this would be the last time we would ever be together like this.

I don’t want to miss any of it,I moaned to myself.I want to be right here with him…

But in the end, the fight was futile, and I fell into the same exhausted slumber that had consumed Zen. After the day we’d had, it was inevitable. I couldn’t hold off anymore.

* * *

The twitteringof birdsong woke me up, and I immediately reached for Zen’s arm, the memory first on my mind. To my massive disappointment, it was no longer there, nor was Zen lying beside me any longer. I had lost the moment, succumbing to sleep, despite my best efforts to remain awake.

I rolled over fully to look for him and saw that he wasn’t in the cave. Instantly, I sat upright, panic seizing me again.

Did he leave me in the night? Did he see his arm around me and take off?

Again, I had to talk myself down as I jumped to my feet, reminding myself that he had ample time to leave me if he’d wanted to do that. He wouldn’t have done it in the middle of the night.

That was something Agnan would do, not Zen.

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