Page 66 of Coming Out at Crofton Hall

Simon was sitting reading when Ashley arrived, and he looked a lot better than he’d done earlier. “Back from the brink of death, I see. Want some supper? I can text Karl to bring something up.”

“That would be great.

Ashley dashed off a text to Karl requesting something for them both.

“I feel much better,” Simon said. “And the good thing is I’m recovering from the drops in energy quicker too.”

“If you could share your secret on that one I’d be grateful as I’m knackered.” He pointed to the baby monitor. “He’s a worse taskmaster than even the scariest bridezilla.”

Simon chuckled. “Hard job, babies, I’m often amazed the human race has continued given the upheaval kids cause.”

“What I’m amazed at is how some people manage to have a second one within a year of the first. Davy is a natural cockblock and often I’m too tired to be randy.”

“I bet that wasn’t something you ever thought would happen. Especially with a husband as attractive as yours.”

Ashley groaned. “The mind is willing, but the flesh is knackered.”

“I know that feeling. At the moment, taking my socks off is exhausting enough let alone the rest of my clothes for a bit of fun.”

Simon had to be mindful about his recovery but he was a stubborn man. “Perhaps you could not fight Robin on him finding someone to help. You need to swallow your pride on that.”

“I tell you what, I will if you will.” Simon stared at him straight on. “You’re not failing with Davy, but either Ben needs to do more or you get a nanny.”

Somehow the conversation had been shifted away from Simon, he was far too good at that, but Ashley couldn’t deny Simon was right. “It’s not a matter of Ben doing more, he’s a good dad, but I’m barely coping now, once I go back to work it’ll be ten times worse.”

“Most parents have childcare help when they work. Ben has duties to the earldom which aren’t something he can sidestep, and if you do want to work, then Davy will need looking after. You can’t balance him on a hip while the bride and groom debate the flavour of the cake.”

Ashley had investigated local daycare and nurseries but the waiting lists were several months long and he didn’t think he could survive until then. “I was talking to a couple of the mums, they were all for a nanny but most of them couldn’t afford it. At least I wouldn’t have that issue.”

“Then what’s stopping you from advertising for a live-in nanny?”

He was going to sound like a grade-A arse. “Because I’ve been adamant that I didn’t need one.”

Simon raised an eyebrow. “So is this you not liking being wrong? Or you just been a stubborn cock?”

“I… well… little from column A and a little from column B,” Ashley said, Simon’s penetrating look making him feel like a prick. “I thought to get around it, I could come up with some way to save face.”

“Muppet. Ashley, I’m going to say this because you’re my friend. You shouldn’t need plans and strategies to save face in front of your husband. It shouldn’t matter. If you’d married some twatwaffle then I’d understand, but you married a nice bloke. Do your relationship the courtesy it deserves, which is the truth.”

“I hate being wrong. And I hate the idea I’m not coping and failing Davy.”

“You can stop that. You’re not failing your son. You’re a loving and doting parent. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him.”

“That’s kinda the point—I shouldn’t need help.”

“Everyone needs help, but not everyone’s in the position to get it.” Simon tutted. “If you had a nanny you’re still not the sort to suddenly stop caring for Davy and let the nanny do it all. They’d be there to help.”

Perhaps this was the problem, his own preconceived idea about what a nanny might do. “I also thought of a nanny as someone who charges in, deals with everything while the parents sit back and sip cocktails.”

“I’m sure that is the case for some, but it doesn’t have to be. You set the rules in your own home for your own kid.”

“I think Ben’s nanny was very hands-on… he’d no doubt expect the same.”

“Firstly, he’s one of three siblings, and his parents were of a different generation and social class to you. Davy is—at least so far—an only child, and you’re different to Elena in terms of a parent.”

Simon always spoke sense and made him rethink things.

“I guess so. I do need help especially when I go back to work.”

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