Page 67 of Zirkov

Her eyes fell to where the sheet opened. “I was hoping those were from you and no one else.”

“You were with no another.”

“How do you know?”

He would have scented another male on her. And he would have hunted and beaten the male. Maybe killed him. Krike, why was he thinking like a sholan?

He remembered holding her thighs, keeping her still as he’d thrust into her. “Trust me. No one else touched you.”

She splayed her hand on his chest. “Thank you, Z. I’m glad I can rely on you. My memory is nothing but flashbacks right now. I don’t even think they’re in order. It’s like someone’s playing a slideshow in my head, but before they loaded the tray into the projector, they tossed the slides in a bag, then loaded them out of order, upside down, and with big black empty spaces between them.”

“I don’t know what a slideshow is.”

She patted his chest. “It’s an old way of showing pictures. Way before my time, but people here on Earth understand the reference usually.”

Gently, he gripped her arms, too aware of the bruises he’d left on her tender flesh. “I’d like to tell you to ignore those flashes, but those memories may contain information we need.”

Tears pooled in her eyes as she nodded.

“Magdalena, what we did…” How could he tell her what it meant to him without making her feel worse? “I will answer any questions you have. Perhaps that will make it easier to accept.”

“I’d rather pretend it didn’t happen.”

Drekk. He hated the regret and the sorrow, in her voice. He’d do anything to undo the damage he’d caused. His instincts said to pull her to him, to comfort her, but that would likely complicate matters.

“I think you should know the evening was pleasurable. For both of us.”

She swallowed hard. No verbal sparring, no playful look, no emotion at all. Seeing her so reserved gave him visions of killing the og’dals who did this to her.

“How do you know it was… pleasurable for me?”

“You reached your peak with me.” With one finger, he nudged her chin up, keeping her from looking away. “Several times.”

She chuckled. “I hate to tell you this, Z, but a woman can fake a lot.”

She hadn’t been faking. But her eyes hadn’t sparkled then, not like now. He’d ignored so many red flags, all because he’d wanted her. This is why the gods took away his ability to find his sholani. He didn’t deserve one.

“If I had known you hadn’t come to me of your own will, I never would have touched you.”

“None of this was your doing. And I’m not upset about the bruises. But every time I look at you now, this wave of embarrassment floods me. I’ve worked so hard to gain your respect and now you’ll only see me as weak.”

“I see a strong female who despite being used by slavers and fired by a government who never appreciated her is determined to keep her world safe. The og’dals didn’t break you, not in the least. I’m proud to be your—” The wordsholanalmost escaped his lips.

“Your what? Friend? What are we to one another?”

Not Friends. He wanted much more with her. But how? Years ago, he’d accepted the fact that he would never have a sholani.

“Krike, what happened between us felt so drekking real, Magdalena.”

Her fingertips traced his jaw, stirring more than his cocks. His eyes immediately focused on her lips. The need to kiss her, to explore her mouth again as well as her entire body, exploded within him.

He gripped her wrist, harder than he intended. “Friends do not tempt one another.”

“I think we’re more than friends. Or maybe we aren’t. I don’t know what we are and that’s part of the problem. If we were a couple who broke up, I’d avoid you or exchange minimal pleasantries when we crossed paths. This is something totally different.

“I lied to you earlier. It’s not embarrassment that’s overwhelming me, but a compulsion to touch you, totasteyou. You’re all I can think about. You’re like a drug my body cannot forget. And I don’t know if that’s me and my true feelings or if I’ve been conditioned by the og’dals to want you.”

“We start again as if we were newly introduced.”

---