I laugh because my brother always says the things people think but don’t say out loud. He has no filter. Half the time it pisses people off and half the time it comes off as lovable; one hundred percent of the time, though, Bryan doesn’t care. “I’ll let you and Rae argue that out. The reason for my call is I’m seeing someone.”
“Oh, fuck yes. Fucking finally. And for you to be telling me means it’s not just sex and it’s serious.”
“It’s not just sex and it’s…moving towards serious.”
“But wait, you said no one knows. How can it be serious if Lucas and Rae don’t know? Oh God, please tell me you’re not getting back with Rebecca.” He groans.
“What? Hell no. You know me better than that.”
“Well, I don’t know who else you’d be keeping from your grown-ass kids. Why would they care?” He pauses. “Oh shit, don’t tell me it’s one of Raegan’s friends.” He chuckles. “I mean actually pleasedotell me that, because respect. But… Rae will absolutely freak the fuck out even with her current situation.” I don’t respond even as he continues to laugh and he lets out a whistle, taking my silence as admission. “No fuckin’ way. One of her friends?”
“It’s even worse than you’re thinking.”
“What could be worse than—” He stops talking and at this moment, I’m fairly certain he’s put it together. “No.” He sighs. “Of all the people in the entire fucking world, tell me you are not sleeping with Avery.” I swallow guiltily, knowing that I’m about to endure a long fucking lecture about this. I don’t speak, and I hear him again. “Theodore.”
I groan. “My full name. Really?”
“Yes, you absolutely get your full fucking name. THEO, WHAT THE FUCK?” He yells into the phone and I pull it away from my ear with a groan.
“I know. I KNOW.”
“You know!? Your son’s best friend that he used to have feelings for?” He yells, his tone is laced with judgment.
“It’s been…a long time coming I guess you could say.”
“What? How long?” And I can hear the emphasis in the question because I’ve known Avery a very long fucking time.
“Stop it. It’s not what you’re thinking. It’s only been a few years. We kissed once when she was twenty.” I stand from my desk and begin to pace the length of my office to my couch. “Last winter when she was home, we went a little further, and then about two weeks ago we slept together.”
“But how exactly did this happen?”
I launch into the whole story starting with the night I kissed her for the first time, to last winter, her graduation party, and the last few weeks and learning how she’s had a crush on me for years, and when I finish, my heart is racing and I feel like I need a drink.
“Well, shit. You’re fucked, you know that?”
“And now things have gotten more serious and now…” I lean against my desk. “I want to be with her and I don’t know how to tell Lucas.”
“This could potentially destroy your relationship with him, you know.”
His words are expected but not what I want to hear and I feel sick at the thought of not having a relationship with my son. “I want to think he may come around? Yes, he’ll be pissed but…”
“But what? He held a candle for her for years which you knew and now you’re fucking her? Come on.”
“Don’t make me feel like shit.”
“Don’t do shitty things then and stop thinking with your dick. I amsurethe sex is amazing and I will admit I am jealous because Avery is a fucking smokeshow, but…”
“Watch yourself, Bryan,” I snap. I already have to deal with half the men in Philly lusting after her, I’m not taking that shit from my brother.
“Oh Christ. Unlike you, I wouldn’t go after my nephew’s girl.”
“She’s not his girl,”I groan.
“Semantics! You know what I’m saying.”
“Can you say something helpful?”
“Call it off?” He offers and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. I’ve gone too far down this road and now that no longer feels like an option.