Page 2 of Embracing Darkness

Liam knew how fragile my mind could be despite my academic intelligence. Sometimes, we joked that my sanity had been switched out for smarts. The constant stress of everything in my life was starting to take a toll on my mental health, not that I would ever ask for help.

“It’s fine,” I pushed out through clenched teeth. Changing the sequence, I mumbled through a different one as I relaxed, looking around once more for any sign of Owen. He wasn’t here and he hadn’t been. At least not since I left a few hours ago.

There were two obvious tells—his cologne and any god-awful smell coming from the kitchen due to what Owen used to call peace offerings. He couldn’t cook for shit but he believed he was a chef and that food could fix everything—even abusive outbursts.

“I’ll be fine,” I reiterated, not that I sounded convincing in the slightest.

“You’ve been going to your therapy sessions?”

“Yes.”

Yet another thing my brother had convinced me to do. I had hated him at the time but fuck, it was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Being able to relax and actually talk to someone about my issues had made life just a little easier. Granted, we had to jump through a few hoops and find one approved by my program but I was glad that my therapist was there for those panicked sessions I always seemed to schedule at the last minute.

“Will we see you tonight? You know Mom’s been asking.” Sounds of laughter picked up in the background, telling me that Liam and Joey had probably come into town last night and stayed at the house. I was only an hour away and whenever I did visit, I refused to stay overnight. The comfort of my home was a little too enticing for me to put up with family drama longer than I had to.

I didn’t want to attend the weekly family dinner Mom had been running for the last decade, though. It was a chance to regroup with my siblings and their families but over time, it had become a chore rather than something I looked forward to.

Mom and Ada, my older sister, had never understood my brand of crazy, both of them highly vocal about how unsupportive they were of my choices. Dad and Ada’s husband, Ernest, were relatively silent but always sided with their women. Never once had any one of them defended me from a jab at my expense. Other than Liam and Joel, the only reason to attend these family dinners was my niece, Tia. The light of my life, and a whole bundle of joy despite her parents.

How Ada hadevercreated that beautiful angel would always be a mystery to me.

“Rhys?”

Lost in my head again. I had no idea how Liam put up with me. “Yeah, I’ll be there I guess. Just me.” I put that out into the world, reminding Liam that I was still upholding my side of the restraining order as best I could. I also hoped that Liam would help redirect any conversations regarding Owen. Mom and Ada were hung up on the guy, constantly telling me that he was the perfect partner in my life. I’m sure Mom only thought so because Ada did as if that piece of shit had been a present dropped into my lap.

He was definitely anything but.

It had been a little while since I had seen them all last, probably around the same time I kicked Owen out. However, if I didn’t show up this week, there was a strong likelihood that either Mom or Ada would show up on my doorstep to ‘check-in’. Hanging up with my brother after a quick goodbye, I headed for my office deciding to forgo my original plan of warm cookies. They’d still be here later.

Without even thinking, I grabbed a pillow and a blanket from the closet before curling up on the couch against the back wall. My gaze focused on the sequences and algorithms I had etched into the wallpaper over the years. It was a wall of madness but it was my brand of madness and it was all I needed to feel safe, wrapped up in my little cocoon of happiness. Soon enough, sleep overtook me.

Chapter two

RHYS

The putrid smell of cheese tore me out of whatever pleasant dream I’d been having. The scent scorched my nostrils and made my throat constrict, fear racing through my limbs. I used to fucking love cheese, in any form, on every dish that I indulged in, except for my sweets. Those were a beautiful gift all on their own. However, Owen made me hate the fucking thing that used to make me whole.

It was his way of apologizing. We’d fight. He’d storm out. And then he’d return, making food as a peace offering. There were several problems with his way of attacking our issues.

Our fights were never regular things that couples fought about. I had a problem with him stumbling in at all hours of the night, looking like he had gone several rounds with a meat grinder. He refused to explain where he was or what he had been doing but I knew he was caught up in something. It didn’t help that on occasion strangers showed up looking for him, threatening my safety if I didn’t point to his whereabouts.

He also had this unnatural interest in my dissertation—work that I wasn’t allowed to speak about to anyone other than those with a top security clearance. Owen knew this and still, he asked and poked until I began changing the code on my office lockbox weekly out of pure fear that his intentions were anything but innocent.

The other lingering problem was how he returned. Gaslighting was putting it lightly as he tried to coax me back into his arms with my favorites. Instead of making me fall in love all over again, though, it made me hate the things I used to obsess over.

Like cheese.

My goddamn cheese.

Owen hadruinedit.

A snarl formed on my lips as I sat up on the couch, trembling from sheer rage and fear that was slowly taking over my emotions. The last problem—the most important one? Owen wasn’t supposed to be in my fucking house, let alone within one hundred feet of me or my property. Sure, we had once talked about renovating this house together after I stupidly accepted his engagement proposal. He had all but moved in at that point. In the end, though, it was still my name on the deed. This wasmyhouse.

I stayed put for several more seconds, trying to gain enough confidence to face the man in my nightmares. I used to love him or at least I thought I did but now he was the one adding to my instability. I reached into my pocket and clamped my fingers around Fibo, taking several deep breaths before I pushed off the couch and inched into the hallway.

The cheese continued to assault my poor sense of smell, burnt by the taste now lingering in my mouth but I pushed past it as I stumbled toward the kitchen. A groan slipped from my lips as Owen peeked out, a wild smile plastered on his face. It was as if he didn’t know how wrong this scene was. My gaze traveled along the room, my shoulders falling in defeat. It looked like he had exploded over my home, his coat and bag thrown on my couch, papers from his professorship spread across the coffee table. Almost as if he still lived here.

“Hey, gorgeous! Was wondering when my sleeping beauty would wake up.” He tried to purr but it came out like a feral coyote slowly being strangled.

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