Page 30 of The Wolf Queen

Chapter19

Axe would complain later about having an audience for this, but in the moment it was as though my kiss opened a floodgate within him. His massive arm went around my waist and tugged me closer. Then what started as me kissing him, became him devouring me.

He plundered my mouth, that was the only way to describe it, taking my lips, my mouth, my tongue, as his with all the same consummate skill with which he wielded an axe. I felt like I was melting into him.

Ever since the fall of Snowmere, I had felt as though I was locked tight inside myself. Every muscle in my body, every fibre of my being had been on guard to protect me from facing my pain, my anguish, from being heartsick at the lost lives, the lost opportunities, even the loss of my confidence that I could lead us to victory. What would happen if I let go of holding onto all that responsibility and let myself surrender to his promise of retribution, to his skill and his strength, to unleashing the massive body that would lay waste to my enemies if I just said the word? The outcome might be the joy of victory, but it might just as easily be the despair of losing him, of losing all of them.

But it was more than that, for Axe was so much more than his weapon, and the thought crossed my mind that his parents should be doubly cursed for their reductionism in naming him so. I shook my head to try to draw my thoughts back together, even as I was caught up in his kiss, for the other element of letting go was to surrender myself to him: to let him in. And to do that, I would have to give ground, open myself up. It was the thought of that which had me pulling away and pausing, while I took in great gulps of air.

“We’re going too fast,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “Lass, I’m sor—” Bright blue eyes watched me as I pressed my fingers to his lips.

“Is there such a thing as too fast?” I asked him, but didn’t let him speak. “And if there is, we’ve been hurtling along at this pace the whole time, so why stop now?” I pulled my fingers free, allowing him space to make his case, but he just smiled.

“Your pace, Darcy,” he said, his expression so sweet and full of love that the something in me that was hard, black and dead wanted to pull away.

But I didn’t.

Perhaps it was madness that had infected all five of us since the moment we’d met, leading us out of my country and into theirs, resulting in the death of a king and a queen. Or perhaps it was more. Something that had endured through our defeat at Snowmere. No, more than endured; had been tempered by it. As I stared up at him, the feeling grew harder and stronger until I could feel every pulse of my heart in my chest and I knew that each time it beat, it did so for him. As if sensing that, Axe grabbed my hand and placed it inside his shirt, over his heart, and when I felt his heartbeat, I realised it did so in time with mine.

“We’re in sync, Darcy.” His voice cracked then and his eyes implored me to understand. “It’s been like this since the moment I met you. I feel your heartbeat when it grows faster from excitement, anger or need. Mine slows when yours is at rest. You are my whole world, lass and—”

I silenced him with a kiss, unable to let myself listen to what he had to say, even as my heart craved it. I needed it too much, that was clear to me. I needed him, needed his strength, which made me feel like a vampire of myth, ready to suck him dry. And he’d let me. It was as though feeling our hearts beating in time had given me the physical proof I hadn’t been able to fully accept in my heart. I knew that everything he had to give was mine and Axe told me that as he held me close. Then he lifted me up into his arms and carried me to the bed, like I was his wife and this was my wedding day.

In some ways, that was true.

My hand reached out, much more hesitantly now, stroking down his cheek and then running it through his beard, before I dared to meet his eyes.

“Axe—”

“I know,” he said, with complete confidence.

“No, Axe, I…” I swallowed hard then frowned. I’d barely let anyone touch me since that night in Snowmere and… I didn’t think I could now. My womb was this persistent presence in my life that it’d never been before. I ached like the worst of my moon time, and then some. “I can’t…”

His hand slid down my body then, far bolder than it ever had before, but there was something curiously sexless about the gesture. When his palm came to rest right over where it hurt, a deep, pulsing warmth washed through me, not of desire, but of healing, of relief. I let out a shaky sigh, eyes wide, as that nagging pain eased.

“I don’t need to be inside you to mate you,” he told me gently. “It isn’t breeding fever that brings us together. I want you, Darcy, not just your body, but all of the parts of you that you’re willing to give.” He moved in then, his beard prickling my lips, right before he pressed a kiss there. “I want it all before we’re done with this life, but right now… Give me this, lass. Ease my pain and I’ll ease yours every time. Ease this longing inside me and I’ll ensure you never shed a tear again. I’ll fight anything and anyone, including my bastard brothers.”

“Only one of us is an actual bastard,” Gael drawled.

“Especially him, because he’s a grumpy prick,” Axe told me. “Just…”

I tilted my head to one side, baring my scarred neck to him. My grandfather had blanched at the bite marks there, but he didn’t understand. Humans made bonds with rings of gold and pretty words, dresses with trains that went on for miles, but I cared for none of that. My love had fangs and claws, and would not be contained by beautiful rituals. Instead, I needed this.

For a moment, there was only the sound of my breath and Axe’s coming hard and fast, as if the two of us had run until our legs had given out. Instead, the moment seemed to take a life of its own, growing bigger, bolder, sucking all of the oxygen out of the room. Perhaps that was why I was short of breath when he made his move.

“I’ll love you forever, Darcy, my Wolf Queen,” he said, stroking my forehead, pushing back my hair, right before his fangs dug into my neck.

My body arched up off the bed but his hands were there to catch me, holding me like a ragdoll against his chest. The pain of the bite was a bright spark, there and gone again, then replaced by this. Blue flames licked our bodies, in reality as well as in metaphor, setting the two of us alight, right before this. I hadn’t been able to countenance sex. My body had betrayed me, it felt, and sex had been the means of my downfall. But this? It was the purest of pleasures, utterly divorced from anything other than what beat true in my heart.

He was mine. I’d rightly mourned the passing of Nordred, but I’d never walk alone again, not with Axe by my side. He’d meet me in battle, in court, stand by my side in front of the high-born and the low, never leaving me alone. I clung to him with my cheeks wet with tears as the truth of it hit me. When he pulled back, his were the same.

“Mine,” he croaked out, but then his brow furrowed and his hand went back to press against my pelvis, feeling my pain as his own. “Mine, and, gods be damned, why the hell haven’t you healed Darcy before now, Gael?”

“You’ve been hurting?” Gael asked, a wary tone to his voice.

We all had, that was the problem. I hadn’t been able to let any of them close to me. I’d barely dared to look Gael in the eye, unable to bear the sight of my own pain mirrored in his, but I did so now. He frowned, clambering onto the bed and trying to push his brother back, hissing when the big man refused. It seemed as if Axe knew that the moment he moved his hand, the pain would be back. Gael paused then, searching his brother’s face before nodding and covering Axe’s hand with his.

I jolted.

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