There’s another thud of boots on the wooden platform. I try to breathe; my throat is as narrow as a piece of straw. Another shadow spreads over the canvas door flap, and the faint whiff of illusion magic floats through the air. The fabric of my door rustles and then pulls back.
And Balmyr Reyro Liaquen walks in.
The world tips beneath me. I lean forward and grasp the back of my chair like I’m drowning. The scent of Balmyr’s illusion magic and his thick, floral cologne wraps around my head like smoke. I close my eyes, shake my head. Open my eyes.
Balmyr is still here. He’s smiling at me, his dark eyes dancing, the top three buttons of his snow-white tunic undone.
“Alindra,” he purrs as he runs his eyes down the front of my dress. “Stars above, you look utterly ravishing.”
“I— You—” I stammer as my knuckles turn white on the back of the chair.
Balmyr is wearing tight leather pants and a traveling cloak swept over his shoulder. He sweeps through the room, stepping around my table until he’s standing next to me, so close the scent of his cologne makes me dizzy.
“My beautiful Alindra,” he says, in a low whisper. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pictured this moment.”
I gasp, trying to pull breath into my suddenly empty lungs. The room is spinning. I swear I can feel the heat pouring off Balmyr’s body.
“H-How did you find me?” I gasp.
Balmyr rocks back, then smiles at me in a way that makes something curl deep inside my stomach. My fingernails dig into the back of the chair.
“I heard a rumor you were here,” he says. “You know I’m very well-connected, my sweet.”
A rumor? Stars above, I’m a freaking idiot. Prince Orryen and Princess Elanerill’s envoy to the Kingdom of the Summer. They were going to announce to King Grathgore that Ithronel and I are now citizens of the Kingdom of the Fall, under the full protection of King Galan and his dragon allies.
Of course, Balmyr knows I’m here. Everyone in the Grathgore’s palace must know I’m here.
“Oh,” I say.
“I pulled every string I could to join this envoy,” Balmyr says as he leans toward me again. “I had to see you again, my dear Alindra. I had to.”
My legs feel like they’ve turned to mush. The tent is suddenly very small. Balmyr faces me with the full intensity of the smile that was my utter undoing in King Grathgore’s palace, and I feel like the mouse when the rattlesnake started singing. Slowly, Balmyr reaches across the space between us. He runs his fingers along the back of my hand.
I shiver, then yank away from his touch. “How’s your wife?” I snap.
Balmyr’s face contracts, and he turns away. “She’s gone,” he says, in a much different tone of voice.
Once again, I try and fail to find enough breath to fill my lungs. I gasp as Balmyr shakes his head.
“I— I’m so sorry,” I stammer. “And your children? Are they—”
Balmyr turns to me with an expression that suggests he’s trying to put all this suffering behind him.
“She took them with her,” he replies, spreading his hands wide as if to saywhat can you do?“To the Western Reaches, in the Kingdom of Blue Mist. To live with her mother.”
I open my mouth, but again, all I can manage is, “Oh.”
Balmyr shakes his head slightly. His dark curls settle around his shoulders as he runs his eyes once more down the front of my bodice. He looks at me like a man who’s starving looks at a roast chicken.
“Since the day you left,” he says, as his eyes linger on the curve of my chest and then finally settle on my face, “I can’t tell you how often I’ve thought of you. How worried I’ve been.”
I make a strangled sort of noise in the back of my throat and step away from him. Rough canvas brushes my shoulders; if I step back any further, I’m going to fall off the platform and out of the tent. Balmyr’s eyes widen slightly, and he glances at my abdomen.
“Are you, ah, still—” he asks, waving his hand in the air as his cheeks darken slightly.
“Pregnant?” I ask. “Yes. I am.”
He flinches. It’s slight, and he covers it with another one of those smiles that used to make me swoon, but it is unmistakably a flinch. As though my continued pregnancy, the pregnancy that is at least half his fucking fault, were a disappointment.