Page 80 of The Craving

Turning on the shower, I walk in and let the water pour over my head, when totally unexpectedly, tears start to fall. I don’t know what is happening. I don’t know what just made me snap. A small voice in my head tells me I know exactly what is wrong, I just don’t want to admit it to myself.

I’m falling in love with a man I can’t stand most of the time.

Why? Why is this happening?

He is too old for me. We live in such different worlds, and I can never be the woman he needs on his arm. I don’t fit that high-society mold. Look at me, I can’t even last a day without screaming at him and using words that a proper English lady wouldn’t ever let out of her mouth.

And then there is him. He can never open his heart like I know I would need to be happy. He hides the real him, and even when I start to push, he just shuts down. That’s not what a soul mate would do. Not that I am looking for a soul mate... or am I?

Leaning my head against the tiles, I hear him walk into the bathroom, but I can’t look at him. I don’t want him to see the mess I am right now.

But of course, I have no choice. Feeling his arms wrap around me from behind, he pulls me off the wall and back against his chest.

I’m too raw that I just let it all go. My emotions of the last week all start to pour out, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

“Shh, precious, I’ve got you.” It’s the gentlest I have ever heard him speak as he turns me in his arms and wraps me tightly into his chest. The hot water beats down on my back, while my tears are washed down over his heart, ironically. Because that is what has me like this. That muscle in my chest that is beating for him now, but the one I’m crying all over, I don’t know if it’s even possible of beating for me.

“Please don’t cry over me. I’m not worth it.”

Raising my head, I look at him. “That’s the problem.” I let out another sob. “You are! You just won’t let anyone see it.”

“I should have let you walk away. I’m sorry.” He drops his head, not looking at me, but it doesn’t stop me. It just makes me cry harder.

“Yes! You should have. But you didn’t, and now… now I’m so fucked up over you, and I don’t even know why.”

“I’ll take you home,” he says, all while pulling me even tighter against him, which is the opposite than what his words are saying.

“No! That’s a cop out. Be a fucking man and start talking. You can’t fix everything with sex, you know!” His head snaps up quickly to look at me again. He knows I saw right through that last sexfest in the dining room. Seduction stops me from talking, and he can avoid the hard things in life. And it might have worked with women before me, but this time he is up against his worst nightmare.

“You can’t play with my feelings then run away. I won’t let you. Get out and dry off. We are having this out now. No sex, no food, no bed, and no other distractions. Just words! I don’t care if we are yelling them. I will lock you in the bathroom if that’s what it takes to get you to open your mouth and talk to me. Real talk from in here!” I snap, poking his heart and then stepping back from him. I’ve left him shocked to the point he isn’t moving, just staring at me as I step around him and walk out of the shower.

I wrap myself in one of his big fluffy, probably super expensive towels and stand, waiting for him to respond.

“Now, Nicholas.” I’m not backing down. My tears have shut off and the anger is rising. He has made me feel the highest of highs and lowest of lows in the last week, and that ends now.

“Yes, I can be a bossy bitch too. Move.” I watch him finally shut off the water and walk toward me.

Snapping himself out of the shock, he stands in front of me without shame, wet, naked, and with his cock already standing at attention. Leaning around me, he reaches for his towel and in the deep rasp that makes me weak in the knees, he says, “FYI, the bossy bitch is fucking hot!” He wraps the towel around his waist and storms out of the room, not saying another word.

This is going to get interesting. Who will win the battle of wills?

But more importantly, will it make any difference? Or by the end of the day, will I be packing my bags and walking away? Because I deserve more than to be his plaything, I have more respect for myself than that.

No matter how fucking fantastic the sex is…

ChapterEighteen

NICHOLAS

She drives me fucking crazy!

I have never let anyone this close to me before, and I definitely have never fucked anyone like I have Victoria, but it’s still not enough for her.

She wants more from me, and I don’t know how to say no to her. As infuriating as she is, she is right. I owe her more. I’m opening some major feelings in her that she had no idea what her sexual side was like. I can’t just walk away from her when her emotions are at their most vulnerable. That would make me an awful human, and I don’t want her to think that of me. I don’t care what others think, but Victoria is different.

She is everything!

I don’t want to admit it, but I can’t deny my feelings. It was an instant attraction that won’t let go, and now that I have dragged her in with me, I need to man up like she is demanding.

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