Page 104 of The Craving

I knew walking into my office that Broderick would be there.

The moment I messaged him that I needed him, it was a given that he would drop everything and respond to my SOS.

“He fucking drugged her! I want him to pay. I’ll beat the ever-living shit out of him myself if I have to, but he will pay.” Picking up the statue on the coffee table in my office, I throw it at the wall, smashing it into a million pieces, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I’ve been angry for one reason or another my whole life, but that’s nothing compared to the rage in me right now.

The woman I love has been violated without even knowing it, and now they are teaming up against her to ruin her career and life, all because she is associated with me. Why is this even happening?

“Slow down and tell me everything. Every single word. I need it all.” Broderick is sitting at my desk and logged into my computer, taking notes as I yell in rage all that I heard.

“I want Jocelyn fired and all association with this business and the family name severed immediately. Victoria is not her punching bag because she didn’t get out of life what she wanted. I’ll protect Victoria with my whole being if I need to, and if that means killing them both, then I’ll happily sit in jail for the rest of my life.”

“Right, stop that shit now! You are not touching anyone, and you definitely aren’t going to jail for violence, or any made-up drugs charges. Are you listening to me?” Before I have time to reply, he is in my face and has my shoulders in a firm grip to stop me from continuing to spiral.

“Do you love her?” He stares at me, waiting for my answer.

“Why?”

“Do. You. Love. Her?” he repeats slowly but firmly to me.

“Yes! All right, yes, more than I know what do with.” His hands loosen on my shoulders, and a small smile appears on his face.

“Then we protect her, and we make sure they pay, but never, I repeatneverdo we resort to violence! We are smarter than that. Understood?” With his forehead on mine and his face so close, I can feel him boring the words into my soul.

He’s right, like always. I’m not a violent man, and I won’t let them change that.

But I will get them, that I can guarantee.

I walk away from him and to the window, needing to keep breathing and bring myself back to the man that Victoria needs and hopefully still wants at the end of this.

Broderick is on the phone, and I can hear him talking and typing. Tuning him out, I am already coming off the anger rush, and my body knows where it wants to be. Home wrapped around my Victoria and groveling for my behavior earlier. I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I don’t want her to freak out about what they are planning. That’s my job.

I know he has been on and off a few calls, but finally Broderick is at my side again and looking out the window with me.

“She’s gone, Nic.” I’m not surprised, but I need to get to her and explain.

“Get me the car,” I say, starting toward the door.

“No,” he demands in a voice that makes me stop.

“I’m the boss here, get me the fucking car now!” I storm at him, about to lose my temper that I have been trying to calm down for the last twenty minutes.

“You need to let her go. If she loves you, like we both know she does, you won’t lose her.”

“No, I need to find her. Now, I can’t… what if something happens, she can’t leave me. Not again… I can’t lose someone I love…” Years of heartache and panic are rushing through me, and I can feel myself going weak. When I need every scrap of adrenaline, I lose the fight instead, and my body gives in. The world around me is spinning, and I can’t breathe.

Blackness closes in, and my rage is all I feel in a strange way, surging through my body as I start to fall. I have never felt panic of this scale, but now I understand how powerful the mind is.

My fear of love is small compared to my biggest fear that is hitting me at full speed.

The fear of losing her.

* * *

I feel weak and stupid as Broderick talks to Rem on the phone. He managed to catch me as I fell and got me onto the couch where I’m still sweating and trying to push myself up.

“I swear to God if you try to move, I will tie you down. Stay!” Broderick says, pointing at me while Rem is talking in his ear.

“I’m not a fucking dog!” I yell as I push up to a seated position, but the way my head is still spinning, I know I need to stay here for a minute until the world rights itself.

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