Page 72 of Better Day

“Hey, princess, what are we reading tonight?” I ask, trying not to laugh at her snuggled into the bed with what looks like twenty different stuffed animals. Ghost spoils her at times.

Mystery packages arrive, and it always seems to be when life is getting to us all up here. It’s not all sunshine and roses every day. I don’t want to live anywhere else in the world, but being able to leave here for holidays or see friends would help. Or even just to take a day trip and be able to buy clothes in a shop, test out the smell of a new perfume, or see a movie in a theatre along with a hundred other people who are all laughing or crying at the same place in the story. Hell, I haven’t even been able to go on a date with Ghost. I know all this is stirring in my head tonight with Asha leaving and feeling like I am going back into my little family bubble that I love and hate at the same time.

“Frozen, Mommy. You can be Elsa and I’ll be Anna.” Kind of ironic she likes this story so much. In a way we are just the same, trapped in our castle and not willing to open the doors to anyone. Letting Bull and Asha in was huge, and I know Ghost is worried about how it will affect Bessy, but still, he didn’t hesitate to give his friend a safe place to regroup and take a breath. Deep down, I wonder if Ghost also needed the human contact after all these years. Talking to someone on the phone or via video isn’t the same as face to face.

“Oh, so I get to make you a snowman tonight.” Giving her a little tickle, I sit down on the bed next to her. Her giggle takes away my sadness just for a short time as we dive into the story and our world of make believe.

Bessy’s words slowing down, I know she’s getting tired. It’s been a huge few days for our princess.

“Sleep time.” Taking the book out of her hands, I tuck her in tight.

“I like Asha and Kurt, Mommy.” Her words are barely above a whisper.

“Me too, baby,” I tell her, kissing her on the forehead and sending the same prayer to the universe as I did for Eli.

Ghost didn’t understand at first why I was prepared to go through the risk of another baby up here on our own, until I explained my fears. Yes, Bessy needs a friend, but I need to know that if something happens to me, and God forbid Ghost too, that they have each other. The feeling I had when my parents died was one of total hopelessness. I was alone in this world, and I know as an adult that happens eventually, as we all leave this world when it's our time. But at eighteen, it was too early. I hadn’t learned how to pave my way in the world yet. I needed that person behind me to say it will be okay, keep going, take that leap. In a way, Ghost and I are the same. I lost my parents through death, but he lost his a long time before that. I’m not sure he ever totally had them, to be honest.

So, once I explained my fears, he understood at a level most people wouldn’t. The kids will have more money than they ever need, and now that I have met Kurt, I know he would love them like his own. Which is the reason we had him listed as their godfather and sole appointed guardian for them in our will. Thankfully, we have now been able to tell him that since he arrived. Asha cried, hugging us both, promising that she will always be there for Bessy and Eli. And for only knowing someone for a few days, it’s weird, but as soon as she said it, it gave me some peace of mind.

Walking from Bessy’s room, the house is so quiet again, too quiet. A week ago, I wouldn’t even be thinking about it, but tonight, it’s bugging me. Ghost will be in his office, just checking in on all his jobs and making sure everything is perfectly in place ready for Kurt and Asha’s trip tomorrow. I fear for them. Normally I don’t know the people Ghost is helping, but I have put a face to the names now, felt their hugs and laughed until we cried together, so it makes it more personal. I also know what it’s like when you are in the thick of the danger. It’s not nice and takes every piece of strength you can muster to get through it.

I go through my normal routine of cleaning up after the kids, putting the washing on so it’s done for the morning, and then making my cup of herbal tea to take to bed with me. I read a lot on the nights Ghost is working. All sorts of books—biographies, home styling, self-help, and of course, fiction. I can’t read crime, it’s too close to home, but I’m not picky with what I read.

I slapped Ghost in a playful way when I found out that Asha is an author and that he knew. I downloaded all her books straight away, and I can’t put them down. She is awesome and has sucked me in with that first chapter of the first book. Ghost’s excuse was that he’s seen what’s on her computer and didn’t want me thinking about any other half-naked man, other than him. We all burst out laughing as he said it, knowing that he was joking and couldn’t care less about it. He is a man comfortable in his own skin, and he knows how much I love and adore him. That’s never been in doubt since the moment we met.

Listening to Asha talk about writing was fascinating. I could tell how proud of her Kurt is. That through all the adversity and fear she has lived through, she’s kept her eye on the prize and continued to follow her dream.

I curl up in bed, opening my e-reader and trying to get into the story, but my headache is getting stronger and making my vision blurry, so I abandon my plans. A few sips of my tea later and it’s not hitting the spot like it normally does either. I just don’t feel right, and I’m sure it’s from the impending danger my new friends are heading into, as well as how it will affect Ghost if anything bad happens. I’m restless, and I haven’t been that way in a long time. I hate it.

Feeling his weight on the bed making the mattress dip next to me, I’m surprised. I wasn’t expecting him to sleep in here tonight. Only being half awake, my body moves on instinct. Curling into Ghost’s body, his arms wrap me up tight with my head on his chest. My head still reminds me of my headache, but the warmth of his body and the beat of his heart has me sliding back into my sleep quickly. This is home, right here in his arms.

* * *

Waking the next morning, he’s gone from our bed, and I know Bull and Asha will be gone from my home too. Looking at the clock, I see it’s six in the morning, and I need to get up and start the day. I’m surprised Eli hasn’t woken yet; he’s probably exhausted just like the rest of us. I don’t even feel like getting up, which is not like me. The headache hasn’t completely shifted but is now just a dull ache that I’ll take some aspirin for. But first, coffee.

I love the days when Ghost is not working too hard, and he’s up and moving before me. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee has me salivating before I even make it to the kitchen. This morning I wasn’t expecting to smell anything, but I do, and it smells amazing. He must have done it after Kurt and Asha left before he headed into the office. He knew that I would need a nice little pick-me-up this morning, and he is spot-on.

* * *

The last few days have been hell. Bessy has been acting up, complaining she is bored now that she doesn’t have friends to play with. I knew it would be hard but was hoping she would settle quickly when I told her that they would be back for a visit one day. To her, time is irrelevant, and if I say one day, she assumes I mean tomorrow.

I got Ghost’s message a few hours ago to let me know it was over and everyone was safe. My emotions have been all over the place, so I cried at the message. Yesterday I yelled at Bessy, and that’s not like me at all. Scarily, it reminded me of when I was pregnant with Eli. I don’t think I can take another baby now. It was in the back of my mind that three kids might be nice, but now with the two, I think we are perfect the way we are.

Trying to think of when my last period was is hard, as they haven’t been in a routine yet after Eli. I know that they say if you’re breastfeeding you shouldn’t get pregnant, but that’s not true. I would never rely on that. Ghost, as much as he hates it, has been wearing condoms, just to be safe. So, I’m ninety-nine percent sure it’s not a baby on the way, but never say never. I’ll give it a few more days and then test. I don’t want to scare poor Ghost. I know he was bragging to Bull that he is now a doctor after delivering two babies, but I beg to differ. We have just been extremely lucky that nothing went wrong. We will look back in years to come and realize how insane we were to attempt it.

* * *

After another long day, the kids are in bed asleep, and I’m desperate to see my man. I need his touch. The tight hug, the sensual touch of his lips, and all that usually follows that kiss. Skin to skin is what I need. It always calms me, and I’m craving that feeling.

Sliding his blue shirt on over my naked body, I can smell him. I hold the collar up to my nose and breathe him in. Oh, my Noah, how I’ve missed you. It’s time we got reacquainted.

I secure only the two buttons between my breasts, and I know this will have him hard as soon as he sees me. His broad shoulders and solid arms that bulge nicely in his clothes means that the shirt is big enough to look like a short dress on me. The hem just covers my buttocks but is enough to drive him crazy.

I poke my head into both the kids’ rooms on my way down the hallway, making sure they are still asleep, because I don’t want them seeing their mother dressed like this. I’m keeping this vision just for their father.

Placing my thumbprint on the security pad, I know he will be expecting me. I’ve seen the screens in his office, and he’d probably know if I sneeze somewhere in the house, to be honest. I creep in quietly just in case he’s on a call that I don’t want to interrupt. The speed his work moves sometimes means I never know what I’m walking into. Seeing him pull out his earpiece, I know I’m safe to go to him.

“Hey there, handsome, I think you need a break. And more importantly, some sleep,” I murmur, placing my hands on his shoulders and feeling the rock-hard tension that has built in his muscles. I lean down and kiss him, just needing to get my lips on him. I need to get him out of this office and into our bed with me. I let him know the kids are tucked up tight in bed, and that piece of information will make him unable to resist the invitation for a shower together. Instantly, that has everything now moving, including me.

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