Page 34 of Defining Us

Take care and don’t be a stranger.

Your friend, Jordan.

Every breath in my body is sucked out and the world starts spinning.

I was too late.

Just like last night, I curl into a ball on my bed and wrap Jordan’s blanket around me. My only lifeline left to what I threw away.

Maybe the universe is telling me I need to stick to the plan.

No matter what we want, it’s just not in the cards for us.

Jordan and I just aren’t meant to be.

Not now and not ever.

Hearing Xavier starting to move around in his room, the panic hits. I need to pull myself together.

Jordan’s gone and I can’t shed another tear over it.

ChapterSeven

Two Years Later

NATALIE

“Come on, Nat, you need to chill out and stop living your life with your nose stuck in the books.” Xavier just won’t take no for an answer. Standing in my dorm room doorway, leaning against the door, he has been trying to convince me for the last ten minutes to go with him on the road trip.

“You are driving me crazy, Xav. You may not think the finals are important, but I do!” We’re taking the same course and yet I’m the one who studies like crazy while he is busy out living the high life on campus—which his marks reflect. But as he so kindly just reminded me, at the end of the degree, as long as he passes, that is all that counts. My high distinctions will mean nothing in the real world when we’re running our own gym and rehab center.

We might be twins but our outlook on college is very different.

I don’t care what happens at the end of the degree, but I want to know that I gave it my best and achieved the highest grades I could. To me that means something.

“But you haven’t seen Jordan play in the two years since he went to college. I thought you two were close friends too, not just me and him. I’m sure he would love to see you.”

I’m sure he would too, but I don’t know if I can cope with seeing him. We’ve messaged and talked on the phone a few times over the years but nothing big. Just a few happy birthday, merry Christmas messages, or when he won the best-new-rookie award in his first year on the varsity team.

“You can just say hello from me and tell me all about it when you get back.” Trying to ignore him, I look down at my books on my bed.

“Did something happen between you two? I mean, otherwise I’m confused why you never want to come with me.”

Shit, now I don’t want to look up in case he can read my thoughts that I’m sure are written all over my face.

Shit, shit, shit, shit… shit.

How do I get out of this now?

“No, what would make you think that?” I’m still looking at my books like they have the eternal answers to life’s biggest problems.

“Good, then you’re coming this time. No getting out of it. Be ready in an hour and I’ll come and grab you. Start packing a bag, we’re staying overnight.” Before I even have a chance to object, he is gone out the door and I can hear him laughing at something someone has said down the corridor.

I mean, you wouldn’t bother closing the door when you leave, would you, especially if you’re the one who opened it.

Fuck!

I know I won’t be able to get out of this. Xavier will just drag me to the car, so I may as well be prepared.

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