Page 110 of Defining Us

Standing at the elevator with Nat wrapped around me, it’s the best and worst pleasure. In my whole football career, this is the first time I don’t want to leave for training.

“Please promise me you won’t create trouble with Chase. For me, you need to let it go. Jordan, promise me!” Her words are bouncing around my head. I hear myself promise her but there’s no conviction behind it. Let’s just hope I can keep that promise today.

“I’ll be back after training for a short while, and then I have an event to go to that I can’t get out of. Let me assure you, it will be the shortest appearance ever. Then I’m yours to do with what you like.” I raise my eyebrows up and down which makes her laugh.

“Go, before I tie you up and take you hostage. You don’t want to be late.”

“Ooh, kinky. Never expected that, but yeah, I’m totally on-board, baby.” Swatting her behind, I lean down and kiss her hard before disappearing into the open elevator.

“What the hell have I got myself into?” She rolls her eyes at me.

“You love me!” I yell through the gap of the closing doors.

“Luckily for you, I do.” It’s the last thing I hear as the doors shut and I’m whisked downward to the basement and my waiting car.

Every single day I will be grateful for the luck that kept Nat’s love just for me.

* * *

“What is it with you and Lonigan?” Rhett asks. “You’re both circling each other like two bucks about to charge.” He’s standing next to me as I throw all my gear back into my training bag.

“If he stays on that side of the room and keeps his mouth shut, then all will be okay,” I mumble under my breath as I’m searching for my phone. I want to message Nat and let her know I’m on my way home.

“You need to sort this shit out, before it starts affecting the team. Over the years I’ve seen it cost a team their chance at the championship. Coach won’t be looking too kindly at his starting quarterback and one of his defense men wanting to kill each other. You need to save that aggression for the opposition. Understood?” Rhett’s age and wisdom are showing through.

“Yeah, understood, Dad,” I grunt back at him. He’s just looking out for me, but I don’t like being told what to do. The only thing saving me from telling him to fuck off right now is that I know he’s right.

Needing to get out of here, I sling my bag over my shoulder and push past a few of the guys. I’m out into the corridor heading for the parking lot. Fresh air hits my face as I burst through the outside door of the stadium. Cars everywhere and not a single old rusty scrapheap or bomb between them. Our life really is in another world when you look around at the money just sitting in the parking lot.

Before I’ve moved very far, the door opens again behind me and my shoulders tense and breathing gets a little faster.

Remember, you promised her. She means more to you than the frustration you want to let go.

Just giving Lonigan a nod, I turn back to head toward my car. Of course, his is parked three cars past mine in the row. My first thought is to get in my car as quick as I can and keep my mouth shut, but then I’ve never been very good at doing the smart thing. Act first and think later; usually I’ll regret the haste that I made the decision in. My marriage is testament to that. But my better judgment slides away, and I turn to face him head-on.

“Can we talk?”

He stops in his tracks at a safe enough distance, which is smart for both our sakes. I’m expecting there to be a fight in his eyes, but instead, I just see sadness.

“Yeah, we should, I guess. But I’ll go first. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I know one thing. Nat loves you, man. I can’t compete with that. To be honest, I’ve never been able to compete with it, but it didn’t stop me from trying. So, get your head out of your ass and sort your shit out. You don’t love Sasha, any idiot can see that, you never have. I tried to tell you all those years ago, but you weren’t listening, so I hope your ears are open now. End it and be with who you love. An extremely wise woman told me last night, you should never settle for being someone’s second choice. It sucks, but I would have always been the second choice.”

Shit, what the hell went down last night? I’m not sure I can hear any more. For all these years we have been verbal sparring and at each other’s throats, yet here Lonigan is being a far bigger man than me and laying the truth out before me. It might be time I suck up my pride and do the same.

“Thanks, buddy. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye over the years, but there was one thing we’ve always agreed on, and that’s Nat and how special she is. I can’t say much but I just want you to know, I will take care of her. In time, it will all be as it should’ve been from the beginning. But she’s right. Learn from my mistake. Find her, man, she’s out there somewhere, and you’ll know when you do. The sucker punch you will feel in the gut is enough to put you on your ass, and that’s saying something for a jerk as big as you.” I take a few steps forward and hold out my hand. We aren’t quite at the man-hug stage yet, but who knows what the future will hold.

* * *

Sitting now in my car and soaking in everything that just happened, I’m partially still in shock. I’m guessing Nat has a lot to tell me too. Luckily, we are going to have a lifetime to get through it all.

Now I just want to get home to her and tell her everything that’s in my head, how it all happened, so she understands that I’ve never stopped loving her. Not for a second. My years of blue balls can attest to that.

Laughing at myself and driving out of the parking lot, I’m feeling pretty good about my life.

Just when I thought my heart couldn’t take any more stress today, my phone starts ringing and the name across the screen of my car makes my blood run cold.

“Well, it had to happen sooner or later,” I mutter as I hit accept.

Before I can even say a word, his voice is booming into my car. “You bastard, why the hell didn’t you talk to me?”

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