Page 50 of Keep It Together

“Do you wish she’d have married him?”

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t have worked. They weren’t good for each other. But he became like a godfather to me and Grace. He set up trust funds for us, a monthly stipend starting when we turned eighteen, plus paying for our college. We told him not to do it, but he didn’t listen. He said he only invested in good things, and that included us.”

“That’s amazing.”

“It is. And it’s amazing Dean didn’t resent us for taking part of his inheritance. In fact, he invested in Grace’s flower shop, too. She needed a lot upfront, plus we had some growing pains, finding the right wholesalers, learning what to charge for Grace’s floral arrangements. We changed locations after the first year because the lease was too high.”

“But you stuck with it and made it work.”

“Yeah.” And then we got comfortable. Too comfortable for a market with year-by-year rising costs. My mind flitted to all the current things I wanted to change. But pivoting in business was like pushing down a wall with your bare hands, especially when you didn’t have a united effort.

“Zac.”

I realized Carmen had been studying me while I was lost in thought.

“You can tell me the hard stuff and not just the amazing parts. That’s what friends are for. Sometimes it’s nice to have a sounding board, someone who’s not involved and can just listen.”

I pressed my fingers into the couch. She wasn’t wrong, but it was hard to talk about. There were things I kept from my parents because, understandably, it made them uncomfortable to know someone else had provided for us in ways they couldn’t. Then there were things I only told Dean, and things I only told Grace. And on top of that were the things I kept all to myself.

“That’s the part I like,” I finally admitted. “The learning curve. Fixing the money leaks and finding new streams of income. But it bothers Grace when I make suggestions. The shop is her baby.”

“Is it in trouble?”

“Yes and no.” I took in a deep breath and let it out. “I haven’t taken a salary in two years.”

Carmen’s mouth dropped open, but obviously not wanting to make me feel bad, she quickly recovered.

“What about Grace?”

“She’s fine. She’s making a comfortable income. It’s just, a shop our size isn’t meant to support multiple owners. We could scale up, but we’d have to charge more first, be more careful about purchases and not pad the arrangements so we keep our costs in check. It would mean being busier, hiring more, advertising more.”

“And she isn’t willing to do those things?”

“In her defense, she doesn’t know I’m not taking a salary.”

“Isaac.” Carmen groaned and pressed her forehead into my chest. I could feel her taking on my stress, and I hated that.

“It’s fine. I make money from investments, enough to pay my bills. I don’t need more.”

“That’s not the point. You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

She looked up at me, cupping the side of my face with her hand. As if I wasn’t already listening. Right now, the whole world was just the two of us in this cozy cocoon. Time and space didn’t exist. Again, I felt that push and pull. A craving for more of her touch, and the familiar unworthiness of it.

“Isaac, you’re trying to solve a problem all by yourself. Being a martyr when you don’t have to. We lost our friendship all those years ago because you had a problem that was too big for you to solve. Because you wanted to protect me no matter the cost.”

“And not telling you hurt you.” I felt utterly gutted. She was right. I was an idiot. My relationship with Grace was nothing like my relationship with Carmen, but it all came down to the same result. In order to avoid conflict with Grace, I’d taken on what I thought I needed to, and kept it to myself. But I wasn’t noble in either instance. Just thinking about the way Grace would react to the news was all the confirmation I needed.

“What about Dean?” Carmen asked. She tucked her hands away again, which was for the best.

“He’s not involved in the day-to-day workings of the business. He got his initial investment back with interest once the shop took off. But because he was an angel investor, she feels like she owes him forever. It shouldn’t feel so personal. It’s what he does. He’s a small business consultant who invests where he knows it could make a difference.”

“And where it makes him money?”

“Yeah. A win-win.”

Carmen studied my face. “That’s what you’d like to do, too. Isn’t it?”

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