Page 86 of Alive At Night

It was fucking terrifying how true that was.

“I know what you said. But I don’t know how to just turn off my feelings.” She sniffed and looked away. “I told Nessa that we weren’t really dating. It was embarrassing.”

“I’m sure Nessa thought nothing of it.”

A single nod. “Yeah.”

That was the most unconvincingyeahI’d ever heard.

“You know…” I started. “You never told me why it was so important to you. To pretend to have this relationship.”

I was venturing into murky territory, especially considering what this same line of questioning had instigated in the car on the way to New York. But I had a strong feeling that if I got her to explain this to me, then I wouldn’t need her to explain anything else.

Juni laughed harshly. “Didn’t you see it?”

“See what?”

Her face screwed up, twisting with some emotion I didn’t understand. “Sofia’s reaction to you, to how you knew Grayson, to my false connections.”

“I saw it,” I admitted. “But I think she would have been just as excited to meet you without it.”

“You don’t get it,” she muttered.

“No, I don’t. Explain.”

For years, I thought I had Juniper all figured out. I put her in a box, slapped a label on it, and then put it out of reach. Easy. Simple.

Juniper was anything butsimple. This weekend had been a slow unwrapping of her many layers, and now that I’d started, I couldn’t figure out how to stop. Goddamn, did I even want to?

“I’ve always wished I had a sister, Julian,” she whispered. “Or any sibling.”

I nodded encouragingly, wanting her to continue. Thankfully, she did.

“And I know it sounds silly, but if Sofia believes someone like you thinks I’m good enough to keep around, to date, to…to love, then maybe she will too. Maybe she’ll keep me around. Maybe I can convince her I’m worth that.”

Christ, hearing those words was one hell of a blow. My chest ached as I searched Juni’s face, urging her to look back at me. When her eyes finally lifted to meet mine, there was a yearning there that killed me to see. These thoughts were the ones she’d been hiding from me, huh?

“Juniper…” I breathed, knowing I needed to respond, even if I didn’t know what to say. “Of course you’re worth that.”

“Since when?” She cleared her throat. “You’ve never wanted me around.”

Shit.She hadn’t been hiding these thoughts from me at all. I just never saw them for what they were.

“Not to mention…” Her eyes darted away, searching for something. Someone. “She’sin this room, Julian. She’s in this room, and she doesn’t want to meet me.”

Goddamn.My grip on her tightened, hoping it might communicate that people did want her. People, as in…fuck.

“I’m okay with that, though,” she rushed to say. “Really, I am. I love my parents endlessly. I have the best mom. It’s a sister I don’t have. That’s why I wanted to meet Sofia.”

The song that had been playing began to fade, and another took its place, also slow, also perfect for holding your girlfriend—or fake girlfriend—close. And I thanked God for that. Letting go of Juniper now would crumble the last remaining unbroken piece of my heart.

“You can let go if you want,” she whispered. “We can sit down.”

“I don’t want to let go.”

She blinked up at me. Once. Twice. I saw stars in her eyes.

“Okay.”

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