Page 112 of Alive At Night

When I quietly took another sip of my wine, Noah insisted.

“He is, Juniper.”

“He’s threatening you,” I pointed out, in case he’d forgotten.

“Because he knowsmyfaults and wants to protect you.”

Protect me. How funny it was that Julian always tried to protect me from everything and everyone…except himself.

“You would touch me if I didn’t want you to?” I asked, not believing that I needed protection from the man across the table, who was far more kind-spirited than I’d initially given him credit for. He’d seemed so genuinely apologetic when he canceled on me for Sofia’s wedding that I wasn’t even surprised to get his text the other day about tonight.

“Of course not.” Noah looked affronted. “But I am aware I have a reputation.”

“Then he has nothing to protect me from.” I glanced away. It was hard admitting truths when looking people in the eye. “I don’t know why he thinks he gets to want nothing to do with me and also tell other guys that they should want nothing to do with me.”

When I looked back at Noah, he was sitting back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. It emphasized his biceps, which were trying to bulge their way out of his white dress shirt. “These are not the texts of a man who wants nothing to do with you, Juniper.”

“He doesn’t think we’re a goodidea,”I admitted.

This was such an inappropriate conversation to have with a guy who’d asked me out for dinner, but again, we both knew what this was: not a date. And it felt good to say those words aloud after repeating them in my head for the last week.

“Of course he doesn’t,” Noah said softly, taking me aback.

“Of course?”

“Because it’sJulian.” His sigh made me feel like I was supposed to understand what that meant, but I didn’t. Which forced me to the realization that maybe, just maybe, there were parts of Julian that I didn’t fully comprehend. “Julian’s life revolves around his family,” Noah added.

Okay, yes,thatI did know.

“And you are in the unfortunate situation of being very close to that family.”

“I love the Briggs family,” I defended because he made it sound like something was wrong with them.

“Exactly.” Noah tapped his finger on the table pointedly. “His entire life, he’s made decisions based on what he thinks is best for the people he loves. He could have easily made a career in the NFL, but he didn’t think it was the responsible choice. He could have easily gone into law school immediately after undergrad, but his dad needed his help back home. He could have asked you out eons ago, but he didn’t want to get between your relationship with his family, the one you love so very much.”

“Eons ago?” I repeated, getting stuck on that little part. “Julian never made any indication that he liked me growing up.”

An understatement.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Noah picked up his wine, peering at me over the rim of his glass. “You’re wrong. That’s why I was so surprised when he introduced us, but he insisted it was fine. Until it so clearly wasn’t.”

“I—I don’t know about that, Noah. Really, I—”

“And now you both work together,” Noah continued. “And Julian’s goal his whole life has been to secure a long-term, well-paying career that can support his family. He has that job now, the one that will help make sure Genevieve or Josie or whichever one it is goes to college. The job that is sustainable enough to take care of his parents when they get older and his dad can’t crouch under cars anymore for a living. That job is really fucking important to him. It doesn’t meanyouaren’t.”

“Doesn’t it?” I cringed as soon as the thought came out of my mouth. “Sorry, that sounded really self-centered.”

“No, it didn’t,” Noah reassured me. “Look, I’m not going to sit here and say he isn’t making some big mistakes, but that’s just how I see it.”

I took a deep breath, absorbing everything he’d said. I understood that Julian was self-sacrificing, but I’d neverdreamof doing anything to put his job at risk. Nor would I ever think to get between him and his sisters. Gemma hated when Julian and I argued. And here I was, for some incomprehensible reason, trying to end that era of us.

“You sound like you’ve talked to him about this,” I hedged.

If he did, I’d be a little upset. I wished Julian would talk tome. And not just cryptically or condescendingly. But honestly.

Noah shook his head, though. “No, I didn’t talk to him.” He gave me a sympathetic little smile that was sweet but painful. “I just know him.”

His answer made me wonder…did I know Julian? I thought I did.

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