Page 127 of Alive At Night

“Okay with you coming?” I frowned. “Juni, please don’t say things like that. I want you there.” When all she did was blink at me with those big, brown eyes, I sighed. “My sisters would kill me if you weren’t there, but even more than that, I would miss you. A lot.”

She nodded, but the hesitation couldn’t have been clearer. “I’m sorry. It’s just still a little hard for me to wrap my head around, I guess.”

I should have known that no matter how many ways I showed her that I wanted to be around her, going back home would still cause feelings like this to pop up. I could prove to her that I wanted to share an office because we’d only existed in this space for a few months. But proving to her I wanted to share my childhood home after years of making her believe otherwise?

“Fuck.” I started to push out of my chair and then stopped, remembering our office door was open. So I tried to touch her with my eyes instead. “Juni, I’m sorry I couldn’t handle being around you and I made you think that was your fault. It was my fault. I took out the hate I had for myself on you. But you should know that you belong at my house on Christmas.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “Have you said anything to Gemma about…all of this?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t want to bring anything up without your permission, but just say the word, and I’ll tell her everything.”

I wasn’t looking forward to that conversation, but I knew it would have to happen at some point if I wanted to keep both of them—something I was determined to do, even though I was worried as all hell about it.

“Okay, Julian.” She seemed more sure of herself, but not by much. “Maybe we should focus on getting through this weekend first,” she repeated. “Before talking to Gemma.”

“Sure.”

I didn’t mind that Juniper wanted to wait to say anything to Gemma. But this woman had slept in my bed more than once in the last couple of weeks. My bed smelled like flowers.Flowers. And I shamefully loved it. She walked around my apartment wearing nothing but my jersey to tease the hell out of me. She ate dinner on my couch before cuddling up next to me and asking to watch my old college football games.

And now I was supposed to spend Christmas pretending I didn’t desperately want her.

How the fuck was I supposed to do that?

nine years ago

“So, did you get everything off your wish list?” I asked.

The living room was dark except for the twinkle of the Briggs’ tree lights. I didn’t expect anyone to be down here when I came to grab a glass of water.

But of course he was.

“Well,” Julian drawled, “I haven’t figured out a way to escape you yet, so…”

I rolled my eyes, trying to push aside his teasing.

“Just for that comment, I’ll make sure to haunt you even once you leave for college.”

He sighed, bright eyes flicking up to mine.

“I’m sure you will, Rosie.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY

juniper

GEMMA WALKED INTO MY apartment in a whirlwind, her red hair flying behind her as if caught in a breeze. She squealed when she saw me all packed and ready to go for the weekend, and I held out the sugared-up holiday drink I got for her at Georgia’s after work.

“Julian isn’t here yet, is he?” she asked, scoping out my apartment—which was definitely small enough to check with one quick look around.

Julian, Gemma, and I made plans to drive to Whitebridge together. They would drop me off at my parents’ tonight so I could spend time with them, and then we had the Christmas party tomorrow. Since Julian and I both had to grab our bags from home after work and Gemma had skating practice, we decided to meet at my place before heading out.

“If Julian was here, he would already be pushing us out the door,” I laughed, my stomach turning as I thought of times Julianhadbeen here that Gemma didn’t know about. Including when he’d trapped me against my kitchen counter and whispered toe-curling words I was still digesting.

Gemma nodded as if to acknowledge the truth of what I’d said before she dropped onto the barstool, leaning her elbows on my kitchen island. “Thank God. I feel like we haven’t been able to catch up in so long. I want all the details of the wedding likenow. Hurry, before he comes.”

She was right. We hadn’t been able to properly hang out for weeks, and a bit of guilt tinted my mood because I knew it was partly due to how consumed I’d been with work and Julian these last weeks. But it was also because Gemma was out of town for a week for a competition and then training really hard with her team when she was in town. Plus, when we saw each other at Thanksgiving, it had been hard to actually talk with the other Briggs sisters there.

“It was good,” I said honestly. Considering everything that had happened since, the wedding seemed ages ago.

---