“I slept with him because I wanted to. And I slept with hima lot.”
Now he looked away. “Got it.”
“I let my father convince me that marrying you was the right decision—”
“It is the right decision.”
“You’re just saying that because you want to be king.”
“And because I’m a good man who would do right by you.”
I ignored what he said. “I want to marry for love. Not obligation.” My time with Cobra had rekindled a passion in me that I’d thought had died long ago. I wanted towantsomeone. To need them. To feel that all-consuming joy. I was weak for giving up after getting my heart broken. I just needed time to heal.
“Then you won’t be queen.”
“Bet your ass, I’ll be queen,” I snapped. “I don’t need a husband to rule. All I need is myself.” Now that I’d exposed my father’s secrets, he would have no other choice but to comply with my demands. “It’s a barbaric practice anyway. If my father had a son, he wouldn’t need to marry. But because he had a daughter, everything is different. Nonsense.”
Toman sat there and said nothing.
“I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time.”
“You should reconsider—”
“I’m sorry that choosing love over obligation has screwed over your chances for the throne, but that’s not my problem.”
“That’s not why I want you to reconsider, Clara.” His eyes pleaded with mine. “You know I truly care for you.”
“And I care for you. Doesn’t mean I love you.”
“If you gave me a chance, maybe you would.”
“Do you love me?” I tilted my head.
“No,” he said quietly. “But if you weren’t so cold and standoffish and actually gave me a chance…I think I could. But you’ve been callous ever since your father appointed me. We used to get along, used to laugh together. I actually liked you then. But you changed…and my feelings changed too.”
My eyes dropped.
“I agree that a woman shouldn’t need to be married to reign. Not sure why it’s a rule in the first place. But even if it weren’t a rule, you can’t marry for love, not when you’re a queen. You need to be strategic in your decision. Love burns hot and burns out. But friendship, loyalty, ideologies…those never change.”
I listened to every word he said.
“Maybe you didn’t realize that before.”
“I want both.”
He gave me a sad look. “I don’t think you can have both, Clara.”
* * *
“Toman informed me that you’ve broken your engagement.” My father sat at the head of the table, and he didn’t rise when I entered the room. His staff was in his hand as his arm remained on the armrest.
I hadn’t even made it to my seat when the interrogation began. “I meant every word I said to you.”
He gave me a cold stare across the table. “You’re lucky that Toman has no pride. He’ll take you back if you change your mind.”
“I would never marry a man who has no pride. I need a man who doesn’t take less than what he deserves. I want a man who’s stubborn and a bit egotistical. That’s what I deserve, not a man who’s willing to sacrifice himself for a woman who doesn’t love him.”
He was bound in stoicism, staring in hard silence.