Page 32 of Only in Your Dreams

“Buthim? The way you talk about it sounds like you turned into…” I struggle to find the words. Wanting to ask but not wanting to judge.

“A doormat? Bending so he’d keep loving me?” she finishes for me. The lantern illuminates the shame in her face. “All day, I’ve been trying to figure out how the hell that happened, in between kicking your ass in rounds of poker.”

“And?”

She releases a breath. “All that stuff? The arguing, the guilt-tripping. The back-handed doting. It was never that way at the start. Everything was amazing that first year with Connor—even now, I can’t pinpoint a single thing wrong with the way we were then, other than it all being a lie, I guess. I loved him and I trusted him with everything. I never saw the manipulation for what it was because he’d never given me a reason to doubt him. He surrounded me with people who sang his praises, always made him out to be this amazing guy I was lucky to have. It wasn’t hard to believe I was the problem in the relationship. Needless to say, I’m humiliated.”

I hold her tighter, as though to shield her from her palpable self-disgust. “He’s the one who should be humiliated. He’s the one who did a bad thing—not you.”

“I let it happen.”

I shake my head, feeling so poorly equipped for this conversation. Except this is the woman I’ve loved all my life and I can’t stand to see her beat herself up over something that Iknowwasn’t her fault. Mel has always been tough, the no nonsense one of the group. The fact that she fell victim to this piece of shit says more about his ability to manipulate so convincingly than it does about her. That I’m sure of.

“I’m not sure it works that way,” I tell her. “Can you stop something from happening when you don’t realize it’s happening in the first place?”

Mel blows a loose strand of hair off her face. “I don’t know. But it’s never going to happen to me again, I can tell you that much.”

I walk us to an area that looks like decent enough coverage, as though she’ll really need it in the dark.

“Here. Down you go.”

I set her on her feet and hold her elbow as she steadies out. I’m painfully aware of the questionable sounds coming from that nearby bush, but I’m going to believe it’s just the chipmunk that got us into this mess to begin with.

“Zac?”

“What?” I turn to find her staring at me thoughtfully, balancing against a tree.

“You could have told me the ground was flooding last night. You slept in a puddle.”

“Oh. It wasn’t so bad. Refreshing, really. Have you never slept in an inch of water before?”

I’m full of it. It was wet and cold, and fucking terrible, and the only reason I managed to get any sleep is because my brain forced itself to power down at around six o’clock. But I’d sleep in a flooded tent another year if it puts me back in her good graces.

“You just said you had terrible sleep.”

“Only because you kept waking me up. You were moaning,oh God, Zac, pleasein your sleep.”

She rolls her eyes. “Trust me, I was having a night terror.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re my sleep paralysis demon. I was begging you to spare my life.”

I snort. She’s trying not to smile, but I can tell she’s pleased she got a half-laugh out of me.

“Turn around, please. I really need to go.”

I take a few steps away, staring at what I can see of the branches on nearby trees swaying in the breeze.

Melody clears her throat. “So, I was thinking it would be okay if you wanted to sleep on the mattress tonight. As a thank you for helping me today.”

“I don’t want you sleeping in an inch of water, Mel.”

“I wasn’t offering that. I’d also be on the mattress. With you.”

So, this is what it feels like.

Wishing for something all your life, aching for it, and then having it appear at your feet.

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