Page 84 of Only in Your Dreams

It’s one thing to willingly cop to innocent sleepovers or a relationship. Discussing thevery adult, very consensual thingswe’ve done together is completely another.

Mel had been grateful, if a bit baffled, when I saw her after the diner. In the end, we agreed it was for the best we all go along with the fake relationship, for everyone’s sake.

“Something did happen between you, then. I fuckingknewit—”

I give Brooks a look. “Seeing as Parker and I haven’t been in a good place for a while, I knew we were headed down a bad path. I just need him off our backs while she and I figure out what the hell’s going on with us.”

“And the long and short of it is,” Brooks leans back in his chair, “you both had a thing for each other in school without knowing it, and now you’re… sleeping together while notsleepingtogether? And you’re in full-on grovel-mode, trying to win her back?”

“Something like that.” He’s utterly baffled, not that I blame him. It’s an insane plan. “Will you fake date her or not?”

“What are we talking about here? Going out? Meeting the parents?”

Planting my palms on the desk, I look out into the office space through the open door of my office. It’s buzzing with the coaching staff and trainers making last-minute preparations for tonight’s game. On the other side of the wall behind my desk, I hear the thumping bass of hip hop music—Noah’s beats of choice—coming from the players’ locker room.

“No,” I say flatly. “Absolutely none of that. It’s a show you’d put on in front of Summer and Parker, and nothing else. It’ll be casual, so you can still go out and date other people. There’ll be no touching, no staring. No cutesy nicknames. Don’t smile at her. You know what? Don’t even look at her.”

“So, act like I hate her while pretending to date her. Got it.”

“I’m not kidding, Attwood.”

Brooks grimaces. “I really wish you were. You realize you’re being possessive over nothing, right? I’m notactuallyinterested in dating her—”

My eyes narrow. “And why not? You think you’re too good for her, or something?”

“What? Did you bang your head into a concrete wall before this conversation—”

“Because she’s out of your league. And she’s way out of mine.”

“You’re acting unhinged.”

I feel unhinged. “Answer the question, Attwood.”

“I can’t believe it’s even a question,” Brooks mutters, scratching at the scruff along his jaw. “I’m not trying to date her becauseyouare, okay?” He adjusts the zip of his shirt with a Huskies logo on the sleeve. When I don’t say anything, he adds: “Zac, you’re asking me to fake date the woman you’ve loved since you were fourteen. Fake or not, this is so fucking messy. And I don’t see a version of this that has you and your feelings coming out completely unscathed.”

“I don’t think I’m that fragile.”

“I think you are,” Brooks says, eyes firmly on me. “Maybe I didn’t have the full picture until now, but don’t think I haven’t noticed how… cemented in time you’ve been, since I met you in college. You had everything going for you. You could have coached anywhere—hell, you had teams interested in drafting you out of UOB. But you stayed still. Lived in the same place, did the same things, saw the same people. Like you were in a constant holding pattern, waiting for something. And then she shows up, and you… it’s as alive as I’ve ever seen you, man.”

His assessment comes like a punch in the gut. It’s not like I hadn’t noticed I stayed exactly where Melody left me. It’s that I didn’t think anyone noticed. Other than Grams and the sad looks she’d give me sometimes.

This is what makes Brooks a true gem of a friend.

He’s gone through hell and back. Was on top of the world in his dream career, playing for the NFL team he grew up watching. And then one bad hit on a random Monday night put it all to an end. Still, through all that and his eventual break up with Naomi, he’s always kept a good eye on me.

Thing is, though, I don’t care how stuck I’ve been. She’s what I want. What I’ve always wanted, and I can’t help that.

“It’ll all be worth it if she comes out on the other side wanting to be with me,” I tell him.

“And you told her how you feel?”

I slam shut the playbook on top of the desk. “She knows I’m interested, but not the extent of it.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because she’s trying to figure out where she’s at in life, and she deserves to do that without the pressure of knowing I’ve been losing my mind over her since we were kids. She should be able to tell menowithout wrestling with the guilt of shutting down a lifelong… I don’t even know what to call this anymore.” I sit in my chair with my head in my hands. “Man, I really need you to do this for me. I know it’s putting you in a weird spot with Parker—”

“Knock, knock.”

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