Page 44 of Only in Your Dreams

Zac’s muscles lose all resistance against my grip, and he lets me draw his arm out from behind his back, staring at a point on the tree above my head.

It’s a red shoelace, the same one he’d tied to my wrist ten years ago. I’d taken mine off the moment I came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t coming back for me like he said he would. His lace seems barely more than a scrap of string anymore. Short and tight to his wrist, like it’s broken off and been retied over and over.

Eventually, I feel Zac’s eyes on me, but I can’t seem to face him. I’m fixated on the red string.

“Why are you still wearing that?”

He takes back his arm, tugging his shirtsleeve over the shoelace. “Why did you ask me to kiss you that night?”

Finally, I look at him. We’re in a standoff. Unblinking. I can’t seem to take in a breath, and I’m not sure he can either.

“I told you we’re not rehashing that.”

“You want me to keep to myself why I walked away, then fine,” Zac bites back. “But I was there too. You asked me to kiss you, and I get a say in whether we talk about that part.”

I clench my jaw. “I don’t owe you any—”

“Why, Mel?” The square set of his shoulders, the way he doesn’t look away, tells me he isn’t letting this go.

“It was a… I was feeling sentimental.”

Zac’s gaze skates over my face. He shakes his head. “You’re lying. Try again.”

I fist my hands, forcing them to stop quivering. “I thought I might miss you—”

“Try again, Clover.”

It’s the nickname that gets me. The way it melts me. The way he just wielded it like a weapon, trying to get what he wants out of me.

Fine. If he wants the truth, wants me to make him feel guilty about it, then fine.

I square my shoulders. “Because I had feelings for you, that’s why.”

I don’t know what he thought I’d say, but it’s immediately clear that this certainly wasn’t it. Zac lets out a harsh breath, body almost sagging at my words.

“You had feelings for me?”

“I was in love with you.”

His lips part, and for a beat he only stares at me, stricken. “And now?”

My heart throbs at the thread of vulnerability in the words. And I realize he doesn’t look guilty at all. He looks like a wounded animal.

Oh God.

WasI right about him? About the way he looked at me that night?

“It was a long time ago,” I say delicately. “I just got out of a six-year relationship. Maybe Connor wasn’t who I thought he was, but I really loved him. I moved on, Zac.”

I think I catch a tremble in his jaw, but he clenches it so tight I can’t be sure. “Lucky you, getting over it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You expected me to pine over you for a decade after the way you left things? I reached out to you the next day, asking if you were alright. I gave you the opening to explain. I don’t understand how you can expect any more from me after you left me hanging.”

“I don’t expect a thing out of anyone,” he says simply.

It’s gone. Any trace of the playfulness, the old Zac I managed to needle out of him this weekend. Taking a step away, he looks every bit the bitter man Summer made him out to be on our car ride over.

“What happened to you?” I ask him.

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