Page 63 of Memories of Me

First Time

I SHOULD HAVE seen the signs. I should have known something bad was coming. My life had been too perfect, and then there were warning signs the past few weeks. The road had been getting bumpy, but I just thought it was because we were all freaking out a bit about the huge changes occurring. I had no idea it was fate's warning. The magnitude and destruction was something I wish I hadn't survived, but, really, I hadn't. It took a large chunk of me. The part that made up me for the last twenty-two years. The only piece that mattered.

"I CAN'T BELIEVEthis. I'm so excited."

Tessa was bouncing on my bed like a four year old. We were leaving for the train station in a few minutes.

"You're getting married tomorrow, Bay! This is nuts!" She stopped jumping and sat on the edge of the bed.

I was on the floor zipping up the last of three large suitcases and shaking my head in disbelief. We were going to be gone less than twenty-four hours, and I had three bulging bags. So much for keeping things simple.

"Yep. By tomorrow night, I will officially be Mrs. Reilly."

"That's so weird. I like Mrs. Brandt better," she joked.

"Ha-ha. Help me get these bags in the car."

As soon as we reached the front door, Brandt was standing there. Seeing him quickened my heartbeat. It was surely reacting to the wedding. My heart fluttered when his hand grazed mine as he took my bag from me. He leaned in and kissed right in front of my ear.

"Less than twenty-four hours, and you'll be all mine," he whispered devilishly.

Goose bumps raced across my body and made my insides scream.

"What, you're not going to take my bag?" Tessa interrupted.

Brandt took hers politely and left it on the front porch while he made the first trip to the car.

"You two ready?" My mom stood behind us animatedly. "I can't believe how big you girls are. I blinked and you weren't babies anymore." She grabbed us in her arms and hugged tightly.

Brandt came back. "Good morning, Sara."

"Good morning, Brandt," Mom replied.

"Everyone ready?" My dad joined us. "Where's Grady?" he asked Brandt.

"He's going to meet us there."

"Chad, sweetie, did you get my bag on the sink?" Mom asked.

"I did, honey."

My dad kissed my mom on the cheek and ushered us all out the door. We piled into my dad's SUV and headed to the station. My sister sat alone in the middle row, plugged into her iPod while Brandt and I sat in the back.

"Why didn't Grady meet us here?" I was worried he and Tessa were fighting again. Ever since she told him about the miscarriage, things had been pretty off between them. I spent a lot of days consoling Grady and many nights reassuring Tessa. She was torn about breaking it off with Grady because she loved him so much, but I could tell she needed to explore life without him. I hated it, but I told her she would regret it and resent Grady if she didn't give herself a chance to see if he was her future. I loved Grady, and I could already see this wearing on him and changing him. I couldn't imagine what it would do to him if they kept this going for much longer.

"He rode with my parents. I think he just needed to be alone. He's having a really hard time," he whispered. "She told him last night she didn't want him to move with her."

"What?" I had no idea. I had been so busy packing I hadn't talked to either one of them yesterday. "He didn't have to come."

"Bay, we're getting married. Of course, he had to come. He wants to come."

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder for the rest of the drive. My heart ached for Grady. I wished Tessa would have waited until after the wedding. Thankfully, our wedding was small and simple. It would be a quick ceremony tomorrow morning in Huddart Park with just us and the officiant and then a quick lunch before catching the train home. We were exploring the campus this afternoon and then going to the welcome dinner for Tessa.

We parked in the station lot and waited on the platform. We had made it within a couple of minutes before departure. It was still dark out it was so early. We were taking the first train out, so we could arrive as early as possible. Grady gravitated toward Tessa immediately and embraced her tightly. It was a sight that broke my heart. He loved her in spite of the hell she was putting him through. His love surpassed sanity.

The train ride was pleasant. As pleasant as it could be anyway. I had never actually been on one. My parents suggested it so we could all be together and not worry about lugging all our bags on a flight. It was pretty smart. Our parents sat together, lost in conversation on one side of the aisle, while the four of us sat quietly for most of the trip. Tessa had been crying a lot, so she hid her head on Grady's lap. My mom had asked me what was going on during one of our walks down the train, so I told her they were just having a hard time. I was watching the end of a relationship, and it was heartbreaking. The way they held each other told the story of how much they had been through together and how much they loved each other. They just met too young. I hoped the future had them together.

It was an eight-hour train ride, and I slept for most of it. I think all of us did. We arrived just a little past noon. I went to the bathroom with Tessa to freshen up a bit. The bathroom was small, but we managed to fit.

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