Page 60 of Memories of Me

"Are you mad?"

"I was in bed, so yeah, I'm a little annoyed." But really, after I talked to my dad, I wasn't mad anymore. In fact, I felt guilty as hell for reacting the way I did. I should have been more understanding.

"I'm sorry, Bay. I should have told you everything."

"No, Brandt, I’m sorry. You lost your best friend and she was hurting. I know you blame yourself for what happened to him, so you don’t talk about it, but I don’t want you to ever apologize for it. I was being a jerk.”

He jumped out of the car and opened my door. "Come on."

I took his hand, expecting him to lead me into his apartment, but instead, he guided me in the opposite direction. "Are you serious? I'm in my pajamas, and it's pouring!" I yelled as we ran across the parking lot to an open field to our oak tree. He took my finger and traced it over our carved initials.

“You and me, B.” He smiled and reached for my cheek, rubbing it lightly, and without another word, he kissed me like he had never kissed me before, as if all he needed was to tell someone about Chris so he could forgive himself and move on. It was the best kiss of our unmarried life.

"Every moment has to mean something with you. Only you, Bay. You are my epic love story." He touched the engraving and then his heart with a goofy smile plastered across his face that made me laugh. I added it to my list of why I loved this man so much. He could do cheesy without flinching a muscle.

We ran back to his apartment. It was warm and quiet inside. "Where are they?" Just then I heard a giggle come from Grady's bedroom. "Got it." I shook my head.

"Let's get you dry," Brandt said.

We went into his bedroom, and he tossed me a T-shirt.

"Do you want to stay the night?"

"Yeah, actually, I do."

He smiled and grabbed a pair of sweatpants for himself and went into the bathroom.

I threw off my wet pajamas and put on the shirt. It was from his alma mater, Berkeley University, where he received his degree in economics. Aside from soccer, he had always wanted to own his own company, and since he and Grady were avid surfers, they built a business around it. Brandt was the brains behind the company, while Grady was the face of it.

I climbed into his bed and inhaled a deep breath of his scent. We all had a signature scent, and I loved Brandt's. Being in his bed, in his shirt, and in his room overwhelmed my senses with it and made me feel at home. He climbed into bed quietly and faced me. He brushed the side of my face absently as we soaked each other in.

"I just want to watch you all night long." His adoring eyes smiled.

"Okay," I said.

And he did for a long time, but the events of the evening had left a Pandora's box wide open, and so eventually we talked. We talked about how Grady and his mom came to live with them the summer before sixth grade. Grady’s mom married Brandt’s dad after Brandt’s mom left them and Grady’s father died in a hunting accident. Grady was going into kindergarten. Brandt had six years on Grady, so he acted more like a father figure. They were always really close. Most of this I already knew, but I liked hearing his history. Each time there was a little more detail or an added story of them growing up together. Grady and Brandt were lucky to have each other just like Tessa and me.

WE WENT OUTto breakfast on the coast the next morning. It was a bit of a drive, but it was a nice change. Grady and Tessa came with us, but their mood was off from last night. I wondered if she told Grady about moving out with a friend rather than him. The thought made me sad. He was such a good person and so in love with her. He could have had anyone in high school, even freshman year. He came in with his brother's legacy, good looks, and confidence. He started on the varsity soccer team and dominated from day one. Girls threw themselves at him, but not Tessa. She was focused and determined to get straight A's and become a world-renowned environmentalist, but her weakness was soccer. She always loved it. I did, too. My dad grew up playing and so we sat around and watched every Galaxy game we could find broadcasted and we went to every high school soccer game. I took Tessa before she even went to high school. I actually saw Brandt play once because I had a few older friends. He was magical on the field. I didn't really know who he was then, but as soon as we met, I remembered.

It took Grady many attempts to get Tessa to go out with him, and once she finally conceded, they were inseparable. I could always tell he loved her more deeply than she loved him, and it wasn't for any other reason than Tessa was a free spirit, and tying her down was like telling a little girl she couldn't dream because dreams weren't real. It would break who she was. I knew it was inevitable she would break Grady's heart, but I still had hope she would see him as a part of her future rather than someone who was holding her back. I was selfish. I wanted us all to be a family. Their breakup would surely create a rift and tension that would keep us all apart.

"Why are you guys so quiet?" Brandt asked Grady and Tessa, cutting the tension like a punch to the gut. I shot him a pointed glare. "What?" he mouthed.

When I looked back, Tessa and Grady were mirror reflections of each other, both looking out opposite windows, off in another world. I inched down in my seat in discomfort. Something definitely went down between them, but Tessa didn't leave, and they were coming to breakfast, so, hopefully, it was just a little fight. My heart ached for both of them.

Breakfast was super awkward, but Brandt and I were doing our best to keep up the conversation, only receiving one word responses from both of them. We ate quickly and then dropped Tessa at home. She ran in without saying so much as bye to any of us.

"I have to work today," Brandt said.

"Okay. Hey, Grady. What are you up to today?" I could tell he needed someone to talk to.

"Huh?" He had become complacent after breakfast.

"Are you working with Brandt today?" I pressed.

"Oh, umm, no."

"I don't have anything to do today. Want to hang for a bit?"

---