Page 35 of Memories of Me

"Yes, they are, which is why I kept it at just employee after about a week. Those boys will break some hearts, for sure, but they have a lot going on."

We sat quietly for a few minutes sipping our tea and staring out into the ocean. "It's nice here."

"You can stay as long as you want, but you'll have to crash here on the couch."

"Are you sure you don't mind? I love the boys for helping me, but I need to focus on me, and they are serious distractions."

"Of course, and I have a few days off, so I can help you if you want."

"Really? That would be great. Thank you."

It was late, so I washed up and settled on the couch. It pulled out into a bed, and Nichole had made it for me while I was showering. My luck in people continued. I was forever grateful and hoped one day I could repay them all somehow.

I WOKE UPin a slight haze and heard faint voices coming from outside. It took me a minute to acclimate to my new surroundings, but by the time I was sitting up and rubbing my eyes, Brandt came barreling inside. I lay back down quickly and closed my eyes lying very still.

"Dude, she's still sleeping," Nichole whispered through gritted teeth.

Brandt whispered back, "I don't care, Nichole. She had us freaking out all night. You should have called us right when you picked her up."

"What are you, her keeper? You just met the girl. How was I supposed to know it would cause the Reilly boys to go hysterical?"

"You guys, I'm awake. You can stop trying to whisper now." Brandt came and sat on the bed. Before saying a word, he grabbed my wrists for inspection.

"What are you doing?" I yanked them from his grip.

"There was blood. Where did it come from?"

"A piece of broken glass your brother left on the floor after freaking out and throwing a glass against the wall." I shoved my hand into his face so he could see the barely-there cut. "Unbelievable." I threw the blankets off, slammed open the back slider, and rushed outside. Brandt followed behind, and Nichole hung out in the doorway.

"What, are you mad at me? You're the one who left without so much as a note. I should be the mad one," Brandt challenged.

I twirled around to face him. "Looks like you're pretty mad to me, Brandt." I was more than mad. I was livid. I didn't know why I was so angry, but I was. I stormed up to him and pushed him. "It hasn't even been one day, and you already think I'm going to kill myself. One day, Brandt." I pointed a finger at him. I was surprised how quickly my anger turned to pain. I felt betrayed. I choked back the tears. "You said 'no matter what,' but here you are already pinning me as a nut case." I walked a few feet away toward the water.

"I'm sorry. You're right, but I was scared. Grady called me and told me what happened, so I went to check on you, and I found glass and blood and you not there. I freaked out."

I whipped around. "I don't get it, Brandt! Why do you care so much? You don't even know me!" I was screaming now. I didn't want to scream at him. He had been so wonderful to me, but my emotions were all over the place. Nichole disappeared inside. Something I kind of wished I could do. My head was pounding from the stress on top of everything else.

Brandt approached me and took my arms in his hands gently. "We have a connection. I can feel it. I felt it the first time I saw you, and it's only gotten stronger. It's been a long time since I felt this way, and I can't just walk away from it. From you."

With every word he spoke, I was weakening. I wanted to be mad at him so walking away would be easier, but he was making it so damn hard. "I feel it, too, but…"

He gripped my arms tighter. "But what?" he asked as panic filled his eyes. "But what?"

I shook my head as if that would be enough, but it wasn't. He wouldn't let go, and tears were surfacing in his eyes as mine spilled over. "I'm sorry, Brandt. I can't do this. Not with you or Grady."

If I listened hard enough, I could hear his heart break like the waves on the shore behind me. Loud and in stereo. He let go of my arms slowly and took a step back, defeated.

"I need to figure out who I am. Who my family is or was. I should have started looking the moment I woke up, but I didn't, because I had you guys to take care of me, which I'm so grateful for, but I can't stay with you anymore. We all have so much baggage, and it's colliding with epic force and keeping me from doing what I need to be doing." I hoped my reasoning would take away the pained look on his face, but it only made it worse. "I'm not saying goodbye, Brandt, but I need to do this by myself. Nichole said I could stay here until I find my family."

He didn't say anything. He didn't move. I wondered if he was even breathing, because I wasn’t. It made me realize how much he cared for me. How hard someone could fall so fast. How true love at first sight could be. And how horrible wrong timing could be.

I didn't know how long we stood there staring at each other, but it was a long time.

He finally broke the silence. "Will you do me one favor?"

"Of course, I owe you so much."

"Please, please, don't say you owe me anything."

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