Page 75 of The Great British Bachelor Chase

I’m not nineteen anymore, hurtling headlong into love like I’ll never hit the ground. Because I did, and it damn well broke my heart in two.

I don’t think I could take that kind of heartbreak again.

“JJ!” Hugo’s yell comes from down the drive. “I’ll swim, if it means getting off this island!”

I swallow hard, pushing my aching emotions aside. “I should go with Hugo,” I say quietly, already backing towards the house to go get changed. “You’ll make the call for that private flight, yeah? So it’s waiting for us at the airfield.”

Fraser frowns. “What are you talking about? I’m coming too.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I need some time to think. And you need to get that Volkswagen back to its owner.”

“Fuck the Volkswagen!” Fraser roars, but I’m already hurrying inside, and up the stairs to the guest-room. I’m wearing pajamas under my robe, and I pull on a sweater over the top. There’s no dress code on a private jet, right? That’s the point, it’s private. I didn’t have a chance to unpack, so I just grab my backpack, and hurtle back downstairs and out of the house.

Fraser is still standing there in the front yard, his jeans splattered with mud, his shirt pushed up to his elbows, and a look of stubborn determination on his face that makes my heart ache all over again. “You can’t leave like this, Jolene,” he insists. “I don’t even know what just happened here, but we need to talk it out.”

“Not now. We have a deadline, remember?” I say, trying my best to keep it together. Not to melt into his arms, the way I wish I could. “We’ll talk later, once I’ve had a chance to think.”

“You keep saying that.” Fraser trails me down the driveway. “Think about what?”

“Us. This,” I gesture helplessly. “What the hell are we doing here, Fraser? You really think we can just turn the clock back?”

“No, I think we can figure out a future together,” he insists. “If you’ll just tell me what’s wrong. Everything was going so well, until five minutes ago!”

“It was going well, because we didn’t pause for breath,” I shoot back. “If we had, I would have…”

“Would have what?” he demands, moving to block my path. “Tell me, Jolene,” he demands, ravaged. “What’s suddenly such a big deal that you need to get away from me?”

“I don’t trust you!”

My voice rings out, before I can stop myself.

Fraser reels back, like he’s been slapped.

Shit.

“I don’t trust you,” I repeat it again, quieter this time, and everything clicks into place. That’s the uneasy knot that’s been nestled in my gut all weekend. That’s the feeling I haven’t been able to name, until this very moment.

“Jolene…” Fraser reaches for me, but I back away.

“I know it was a long time ago, and you had your reasons, but youleftme,” I blurt out, tears stinging in my throat. “You broke my heart, Fraser, you crushed it, and it took ten long years for me to even find out why. How am I supposed to move on, and let myself love you again, when you could turn around and disappear the moment things get rough? How could I ever sleep easy in your arms at night, wondering if I’m going to wake up in the morning and just find yougone?”

Fraser looks stricken, but that just makes it worse.

Hugo sounds the horn. “I have to go now,” I tell him, backing up. “I’ll see you in Sussex, OK?”

I turn and sprint the rest of the way down the drive, trailing underwear and denim from my open backpack. Hugo’s car is at the turning now, and I wrench the door open and fling myself into the passenger seat just in time.

“Ready to get the hell out of here?” he asks, looking just about as miserable as I feel.

I nod. “Please. Let’s go.”

I buckle up and steal a glance behind us as Hugo guns the engine and speeds onto the main road. A part of me is hoping Fraser will come after us—beg me to stay, swear that I can trust him, it’ll be different this time—but the driveway is empty. He’s still standing, frozen, up by the house.

Watching as I drive away.

21

JJ

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